Rant

        

Okay, I'm giving you fair warning ~ this is going to be a rant.  So, if you don't care to read my rant then move on, this after all is MY journal and I can write what I damned well please. Correct? ::answering myself:: Correct.

I have found in the past few months that I have been censoring my entries, I haven't been writing that much, I find when I think about it ::and I HAVE been thinking about it! which by the way that "thinking" has become lately "stewing":: I have been allowing myself to not write what I want to write!  damn it, ::and if that word damn bothers you I'm sorry:: Whether I am in a good mood or a bad mood, whether I am moaning & groaning or pathetically whining because I feel my life is going out of control or I'm not happy about something or if I'm freaking depressed, I should be able to write whatever I want to!  Not all of life is "happy, happy, joy, joy" and all that malarkey.  It's not all pious and thankful.  Sometimes it's just out and out pouting,  full of rage or a feeling of injustice that I feel may have been done to my person.

And no, this is not directed at anyone or anything in particular.  This is something that ::like I mentioned above:: I have been thinking about a lot lately.

I know quite a few people pass through my journal ~ quite a few of you don't leave comments; I wonder why sometimes, I wonder what you think.  That doesn't mean I write to "please you"  or that I am pandering for more comments.  What it does mean is what is on people's minds when they read my words?  Lately "my words" have been downright  

B O R I N G and ingratiating almost, because I don't want to offend someone aka hurt their feelings.

So as notice, I am not going to restrain myself any more.  I am going to write what I want, period.

Hugz* 

 

Blithering

      

.  

Hello everyone ! 

Sorry I didn't get an entry in last week like I'd planned, work was crazy most of the week and when Valentine's Day hit it was a thorough madhouse.  Since this is a small town (it's not tiny by any means but it is small compared to some) most of what people do on the weekends etc. is to go out and eat ~ when it comes to holidays such as Valentine's or Christmas/Thanksgiving/Mother's Day well, they descend upon the restaurants in this town ~ madness I tell you.  Anywhoo, I had a couple of doubles last week as well as my regular shifts and I was just plain old down and out tired.  My brain didn't even want to think about thinking lol.

Took the "boys" out to be groomed this past Saturday (Cindy took them) and they came home all pretty and smelling good.  When we take them to be groomed they have to be put in the same kennel or Lares will fret himself sick...Draco isn't so bad, he's much  more independent than Lares is ~ be it as it may, they are still extremely bonded to each other, been that way since birth.  They are beautiful loving babies (smiling).

For Valentine's Day, since I had to work a double on the day itself, I celebrated it with Cindy on the day before; I cooked a Pork Butt Roast with homemade mashed potatoes and caramel glazed carrots with a sourdough and garlic loaf of bread.  Then for dessert I made chocolate covered strawberries.  Cindy really enjoyed it ~ She brought me home a box of my favorite Truffles...Lindt Truffles (yummy things they are) and gave me a beautiful card!  It was a very nice evening.

Today I haven't really accomplished that much, I've gotten laundry done, the sheets changed etc. normal housework type things, probably won't get that much more done can't seem to find the energy to do so.  I've been wanting to sleep a lot lately, not sure why but it seems as if I'm so blasted tired all of the time when I'm not working. 

Last night Cindy and I's friends Barbara and Michelle came over to watch "The L Word" ~ they do this every Sunday evening while the show is running on Showtime.  If anyone else out there watches this show?  Please believe me that normal everyday lesbians do NOT live that way.  It's TV and we do not all sleep with everyone within a 5 mile radius nor are we that blasted well off financially LOL.  It is nice to have a show about lesbians, but to be frank? I much preferred "Queer as Folk" while it was on. (ducking because L Word is C's favorite show).  Yes, we have those within the gay/lesbian community that DO behave like that, but the majority?  do not.

Ok, I'm gone for awhile, hope everyone is having a wonderful day!  Hugz*  Teresa

 

P.S.  yes, I have the pictures from Oregon uploaded on the computer, I just need to actually take the time to pull them up and copy/paste them into a entry.  I WILL do this I promise, hopefully this week sometime.  

Somewhat Belated ~

        

Wishing everyone a Belated Happy Valentine's Day!!

Sorry I'm late   It's been hectic around here!!

Looking at the above graphic (which was made by a very nice lady named Helga) makes me ALMOST wish I had a figure like that!!  But I don't and I am who I am ~ so that is fine with me ::grin:: I hope everyone's V'day was very nice and if you didn't have anyone to share it with? hey, you had YOU and that's what counts...

Regular entry to follow...

Hugz**

 

 

The above graphic was made by Missie, Thank you Hon!

I received a "Nice Matters" award <BIG grin>

 

Can you believe it??? I received a "Nice Matters" award from Linda over at her journal "Sangria Two" wasn't that sweet of her? I think so! I wasn't expecting anything like that and there it is, Thank you Linda <smiling> I really appreciate it!

Here are 5 that I am nominating for their journals... if it were up to me there are many more that I would nominate, so really in all actuality, this is for everyone that has ever been nice to me! Hugz********

 

1.)  Russ over at "Inner and Outer Demons"

 

2.)  Gazker over at "Diary of a Podgy Poof"

 

3.)  Marie over at "Marie's Muses"

 

4.)  Indigo over at "Raven's Lament"

 

5.)  Lyn over at "Brit's Blog"

 

 

 

Nothing clever LOL

Well, here I am ~ finally another entry (laughing) I apologize for it taking so long (it's been over a week since I got back home) but I wasn't expecting everything to take so long to get done, accomplished, put in order etc. etc. not to mention I was just plain old exhausted!  I, first of all had to change the house back from being Cindy's "bachelor" pad to it being organized somewhat again, get the uhaul emptied and unpacked and everything put away ~ and the general exhaustion of the trip itself finally setting in. And yes,  lets so NOT forget the focus thingie.

The trip itself? it was looonnnnggggg much too long, yes, you heard me rave about wanting to go on this trip forever ~ Oregon is my heart when it comes to a place in the U.S. to live, so many things appeal to me about the place; the climate (at least along the coast and the upper northwestern corner) the people? on the most part they are some of the nicest people I've ever met, especially those that are strangers first going there...Portland, OR. is especially like this in my opinion; the environment? can we say oh my Goddess beautiful?? if you haven't been there, take my word for it, it's fabulous.  I think the places I'd like to also go within the continental United States are Vermont, Maine, Upper New York etc. outside of the U.S. of A. ? Canada of course - I've been to British Columbia and I loved it, for the most part they were very nice but there were also absolute rude snobs there also - but then there are a lot of Americans like that aren't there?  We are one of those countries with one of the hugest ego's there are out there, not everyone is like that but hey, think about it and you know I'm right.  We can be snobs and think we are the bestest at everything out there in this little world.  Guess what? we don't, we aren't and some of the one's that are like that? the snobs? they need to get over themselves because the way the world is going today we need every friend we can get and we aren't achieving that thru the arrogance so many of us portray wen we are out of this country. (and yes again, that is SOME of us, not all of us).  Anywhoo, as some of the people know that have been reading my journal for awhile now some of the other places I'd love to visit in the world are as follows and not in any kind of order:

Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, Hungary, Norway, Switzerland, Amsterdam etc. My dream places - I stuck Hungary in there because that's where my family is from and I have relatives there LOL.

 

Enough of that. Back to the subject at hand...my trip, Oregon etc. The coast was beautiful, albeit cold, rainy etc. My next entry will contain some pictures that I took - there are more on my cell phone camera but I can't get those on the computer :(  the ones on the cell phone are of New Mexico and California ( I hate Arizona so I didn't take any pictures of it, in fact I tried to ignore the state completely, nothing against those that might read this journal that live there, I just don't like the place <shrugging> reasons being I don't appreciate the desert in any form and it holds extremely bad memories for me that I'd rather not think of ). 

The trip itself? well, I went with my best friend Terry <she is the one with Multiple Sclerosis> and her partner <they've been together almost 32 years, and yes they are lesbians> Dar, Dar flew out to Portland on Christmas Eve because she couldn't get away till then. The drive was shall we say stressful, Terry's M/S is in a aggressive stage right now & her form of the disease concentrates on her cognitively moreso than the physical, though the cognition bleeds over into the physical because of the nature of it itself.  So this made her moody, volatile and explosive ~ I'm no angel mind you, I tried for the most part to be easy going about it <except for the occasional panic issue> but occasionally I would snap right back at her which of course made things worse <wincing>.  So by the time the 6 weeks was over or nearly so I was sooooooo ready to be back home with my Cindy.  I was ready at 3 weeks!! LOL.

I guess I will go for now.  Thanks for being there for me all of you <smiling>.

Hugz and Love***********

I'm back home!

Hi all :)  Just wanted to let you know I'm back home and I will be making a entry later today sometime, didn't want anyone to worry that might do so.  Have a great day and I've missed you all :)

Hello all :)  Update ~ I will be leaving Newport to go to Portland the beginning of next week, Terry has a doctors appt. with one of her multiple sclerosis specialist on Monday, then I am packing my things I have in storage get that all finished so we will all be ready to get out of Portland by the 23rd - we will be going via Utah, Colorado and New Mexico.  Of course we will be watching the snow reports and where it's safest....so if that route doesn't turn out to be the safest, we will go down thru California. 

Newport has been lovely and peaceful for the most part, I love it here - tho my love of the place as been muted a bit because of my love for Cindy and missing our home.  Does that make sense?  It might not  LOL.

I miss my wife so very much, I miss Lares, Draco, Heathen and Kizmet... (insert deep heartfelt sigh here) I miss her feet when we sleep against mine, I miss being able to cuddle up into her back when she's sleeping on her side...so many things.  She (Cindy) makes my heart sing and where Cindy is - is home.

She says the boys really miss me and the cats too so that's a good thing, right?  I keep telling myself this is just business - and I will be home in 2 weeks.

I've managed to get some pictures while I am here - going to the ocean one day this week and get some really neat pictures there also, I hope.

It's been usually cold and rainy here - but it is all the time this time of year tho.  This past weekend was nice because the sun was out and there was no rain or hail.

I miss all of you, I miss being on my own computer where I can actually do something with my entries. Going to do a journal do over once I get back, different side bar and graphics once I do get there.

I hope everyone is fine, safe, somewhat happy and content.   Love and Hugz******  Teresa