Monday, March 31, 2008

a few more "things" ~ some you may already know, others ~ you may not.


A continuation of my previous entry ~ Hmmmmmm what else is there to know about me?  I'm sure there are depths to me that even "I" don't know ~ am not aware of. Here are a couple more tidbits ...
4)  I enjoy making candles, soaps, lotions, incenses...I haven't been able to do these things for awhile now, but I  hope to start again very soon.  I have little "chests" full of herbs, ground raw incense, oils etc. that I use to create the items.  When you open them the most wonderful rich, earthy, smells come out... I have chamomile, corn silk, frankincense, amber, lavender,  rose hips and rose petals ~ rose water and even a rare "attar of roses" ... camphor (pure form), grape seed oils, apricot oils, almond oils...these help with the making of my soaps and lotions.  Those are only a very few of the things I have in those "chests".
5)  I love animals, with a passion ~ most of the time I prefer animal companionship to that of human.  Animals love you for you and all they want in return is to be loved themselves.  Boundless love...
6)  When I was a 6 year old - at my mothers 4th marriage or was it 3rd?  I told myself that I'd never be married to a man and that I would never bear a child.  Both truth ~ even at that age I knew.  I even remember the dress I was wearing when I told my mother was a once piece sleeveless dress white on top, yellow skirt and a daisy on the hip...I remember leaning over a goldfish pond that day and playing with the fish.
7)  When I was 8 or so and my mother converted to Catholicism - of course not having a say in the matter I was also!  They tried to make me go to confession for the first time and I hit the priest on the way were they going to get me to talk to a strange male about things that were secret ~ you see, "secret" meant just that...telling of those things got you beat bloody.  Never, ever went again.
8)  Said it before and I'll say it again lol  most who read my journal on a regular basis know this.. I love the mountains, the fall and winter and early spring... I love the rain whether it be showers or violent thunderstorms...tearing winds that will blow you off of your feet.  I love the change as summer ends and fall begins...that feeling that sweeps through me the excitement, the yearning, the time of the mother is ending and the time of the crone is beginning. 
' nuf said for now.  Till later.

A little more about me ~ warning some of what I've said may "offend"


For those of you who don't read my journal often ~ maybe there's a few things you don't know about me.
1) I love to cook, I love to bake... if I had more time I'd do it constantly, if I had more money I'd buy kitchen gadgets galore along with spices, herbs - hunt down very different ingredients and recipes that most people in this part of the U.S. don't have or couldn't even imagine.  I'd redo my kitchen to be the most efficient, warm, comfortable place imaginable. 
I don't care for people to be in the kitchen with me when I am cooking - it's something I enjoy doing by myself; at times it's just the therapy of it that fulfills me.  I'm very critical of my own cooking and rarely do I eat what I cook or bake beyond the first couple of bites ~ yet I'm always anxious to find out other people's thoughts, how it tastes to them etc.  I enjoy finding recipes and discovering things from other cultures also, India, Portugal, Spanish, Hungarian, Cuban, African (NOT the "white" African, but the "True" African), Soul Food (Southern Food in America), English, Welsh, Irish, Scottish, Korean, Thailand, Chinese, Japanese, Russian even Native American!  The only one's I have NO interest in are Mexican, German.
2) I adore reading.  I have been a avid reader since a very early age.  I can remember coming home from the school library with as many books as I was allowed to check out.  When I went to the public library I would bring home bags of them (books) and read, read and read.  Since my childhood wasn't very happy and I was more often alone (never really had friends) I'd read and go to the other world's and realities that they allowed me to visit, sometimes I never wanted to leave those worlds.  There is one book I remember from a young age that I have read over and over again, it was called "The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew"  it was kind of like "Little Women", "Little Men" ~ you know, the Louisa May Alcott books... it was a world where sisters and brothers loved each other, where times were hard but they always made it, their mothers/fathers were respected and loved their children, kept them safe.  It wasn't something I had in my own life so I found it in those books. I lost that book somewhere along the years and about 5 or 6 years ago I found a copy again, so I have it in my book collection.  I remember when I was a early teen and the book and the movie "The Exorcist"  first came out ~ there was such a ruckus raised about it, protect your family! it was evil etc. etc. etc.  even then I didn't put much hmmm what's the word? heck ~ I just didn't believe them ~ things like that only have power over one if you let them and I didn't.  I was never afraid or intimidated by things of that nature; so me, being the rebel I was snuck the book from my mother (it was ok for her to read but not for me? made it an even more tempting target lol) I read that book over and over again and it never, ever bothered me ~ I just couldn't understand the hulaballoo about this book.  It was fantasy, even at that age I didn't believe in the Christian devil, still don't ~ same thing with the book "The Omen" that never bothered me either  lol  I even dug out my mothers bible and followed along in Revelations and thought oh jeez.  Of course I didn't read JUST books of that genre' ~ I read autobiographies, biographies, anything I could get my hands on about anthropology, archeology esp. Egyptology...history ~ European and American, even some Asian. All things about the Native Americans etc.  so, yes ~ I read a lot.
3) (warning, this part may offend some people but it is how I see things and what I believe and NO, I don't feel like this about every Christian, but the majority of them I do)
I've always been a rebel as far as my Spirituality ~ my mother went through every branch (denomination) of Christianity that you can think of almost in her own search for whatever it was she was searching for ~ so in the course of my life I've seen a lot about the religion that I had no respect for, there were very few Christians that I had/have met over the years that epitomized what being a "true Christian" , or behaved, thought, lived in a fashion that the Christian Jesus would have wanted them to.  I found that the religion was taught in a lot of cases through fear, threats, brow beating, hate, ignorance etc. etc. frankly? to me ~ any religion that teaches that the only way the Higher Power, The Creator, God, Jesus will love you is from appealing to your sense of the unknown, your sense of " I will go to hell if I don't DO this", the fire, the brimstone, the absolute control and patriarchal belief that women are a lesser being or someone that should "cleave" to their spouse no matter what, that the man is the BETTER of the whole? is bullshit.  I want NO part whatsoever of a religion that espouses the leaning of faith through fear and intimidation.  Of something that will take advantage of a person's being down and out in order to control or "up" their membership by "saving your soul" ~ Not to mention the hypocrisy that is so much a part of every belief out there, not just Christianity.  Nope, to me FAITH is what is in the heart, what is there without having to see physically ~ it is just there.  You don't need a building to be a church or a place of worship.  You could stand in the middle of a dung hill and it be a "church" ~ just so you know, I've read the Bible front to back quite a few times.... and frankly if Jesus is seeing how the majority of his "followers" behave? he's crying his heart out in sorrow.
One of the people out there who I truly respect as far as their faith is Marie ~ from "Marie's Muses" ~ I don't believe as she does? but she respects my choice to believe as I do and she is truly a kind, warm person.
I'm getting  off of this subject because I get too angry with it.
No matter WHAT  your belief system is? the fact is we ALL need/do have FAITH in something...mine is just different than the majority of yours.
Okay, enough for now.  I've shared too much as it is. Hugz*

Friday, March 28, 2008

I goofed (insert very embarrassed look here)

Ooops  I is not NASDAQ or whatever I spelt and's OPEC (damn, now I don't even know if I spelt that right!!!!!!!) you get the gist tho ~ I  hope???? hang on, I'm going to look it up  LOL.  BRB.  Ok, it IS OPEC  <grin> seeeeee? I caught myself...jeez, NASDAQ where the heck did that come from??????  Anyhoo, Hugz*


hello everyone ~
This morning has been finding me way down in the doldrums, not sure why ~ worry, stress, PMS again...a hodgepodge of things that aren't sitting right within me.
Been off of work yesterday, today and most probably tomorrow also, but my bosses swear that everything's alright; they had the head honcho show up this past Wednesday so the schedule for everyone has been thrown into the winds and no one knows when they are working or when they are not, I don't feel that much badly knowing everyone at work is in the same situation as I am.  It's all about profit and cutting down on staff offers in order to make said profit.  Hope they get their heads out of their ass soon.  I hate not knowing what's going on day to day, esp with work.
I've had nightmares for the past two nights or so ~ therein i haven't been sleeping well and been waking up with sweats and my back killing me in the process.  Had to take two klonopin this morning to just calm the anxiety/panic going on inside of me and no, it's not all because of work ~ my emotions seem to be right on my shoulder right now and it's very uncomfortable.
Yes, this is a "whiney" entry, but at least I get some of these things off of my "chest" per sae.  Not sure how much writing will help for the underlying crap is still there no matter what.
There are so many things that I worry about, probably things I shouldn't worry about, things that irritate me and things that just damned well pisses me off.
(1)  gas prices and the convoluted profits that oil companies are bragging about.  What get's me ?  is the fact that we have oil refineries not a hour to two hours away and still the gas prices go up and up and those asshole  CEO's within Exxon, Chevron and Shell (the top three moneymakers) BRAG about this shyt.  Must say they have balls to be able to do so.  We have oil in peoples back yards here just going to waste because of Pres. Carters NASDAQ agreement. WE have oil in our own back yards with the rig's already set up... and because of that agreement with NASDAQ, it can't be touched...because the agreement was to purchase oil form the Saudi Oil Meatheads over there.  Let alone the oil available from South America and in Mexico.  It's THERE  ~ but we can't touch it because of government and politics.  Maybe if Mexico would actually do something about their oil overload they might make something of their country ~ get rid of the corruption and stop the illegal immigrants from coming this country to take jobs and lower wages for American Workers. But that's just my little ideas.  I also believe that car manufacturers should be MADE to do something about the size of vehicles they make and how to establish control about gas use.  Make the vehicles more car efficient, if anything charge any of those people that choose to use those huge monstrosities pay extra for their gas and the one's that are being responsible and purchasing hybrid cars, or more fuel efficient cars cheaper prices. grrrrrrrrrrr.  Getting off of that soap box.
(2)  Politics ~ I'm freaking sick of them all.  They will be lucky if I vote at all with all the name calling, bickering, backstabbing etc. that's happening.  I'm ready to tell them all to stuff themselves.
Okay, that's enough...I'm just in a really down mood today and I cried on the phone with Cindy...I don't think she knows quite what to do with me when I'm in these places in my head.

Saturday, March 22, 2008


Can we say "oh my goodness, thank Goddess this week is over!" This week has been utter heck and back.  I'm beyond tired, I'm exhausted .  I have the next two days off which by the way are full already with things that need to be done around here & otherwise.  Poor Cindy is pooped too .
At the moment, we are "babysitting" my friends Terry & Dar's two dogs Jeda and Tinkerbell ~ Jeda is the diabetic Mini Doberman Pinscher and Tinkerbell is a Mini Schnauzer.  Jeda requires insulin twice a day ~ Tinkerbell thinks she's a princess and they are both spoiled totally rotten.  Lares and Draco still haven't decided what they think about them, they are overall being very well behaved ~ both sets of children.  Jeda and Tink want to whine all the time tho and between trying to be affectionate to them and to not let Lares and Draco feel slighted it's a madhouse.  Hopefully Terry and Dar will pick them up tomorrow or I will go to meet Terry at a halfway point on Monday to drop them off.  I miss being able to sit in the living room with the boys situated beside one of us (Cindy or I), they miss their time with us also and it makes me feel terribly guilty.
Last Sunday Cindy and I took her Nephew to see Horton hears a Who...or is that Morton???? I can't remember!  anyway it's a Dr. Seuss movie and overall is wasn't that bad!  C's Nephew greatly enjoyed it and that's the main point.  It had a lesson in it ~ so it was nice. 
I didn't get a chance to do my Ostera/Spring Equinox/Vernal Equinox entry but I will try to do it either tomorrow or in the next couple of days ~ I worked 11 hours on the 20th and believe me the last thing I was thinking of was Ostera nothing at all LOL.  All I knew was when I finally got home, put on my nightgown, lay my head on the pillow and I don't remember anything after that until I woke up 4:30 in the morning (oh, other than my legs and feet aching during the night).  It was a full moon though and that brought a little more power to the event anyway.  It's beautiful out here when it's a full moon - it's black dark here because we are far away from city lights etc.  so when the moon is full it's like everything is painted with silver - almost like a different kind of sunlight! 
I will also try within the next couple of days to get around to everyone's journal, I'm sorry I haven't been able to it's been just too busy & too tired, didn't have the patience to deal with the slowness of my dial up connection. Which by the way, we will hopefully be getting broadband within the next couple of weeks so that should eliminate that problem, won't that be GREAT?? heck yeah it will  LOL.  Cindy actually finally found a company that comes out this far!  WHOOOHOOOOOO!!!!  :: blowin' kisses at her  sayin' thank you Baby::  living in the boonies is good for a lot of reasons but lack of things like broadband isn't one of them!  lol.  Okay, I think I'm going to go for now. Tired and I want to relax some. 

Monday, March 17, 2008


Wishing everyone a Happy St. Patrick's Day!


Saturday, March 15, 2008


Good Morning everyone!
Thought I'd write a quickie entry and say I hope everyone has a great weekend. 
I have a lunch shift at work today yet I have no idea what time I will actually get out of that place LOL.
Cindy and I will probably be working around the house and yard this weekend cuz it's supposed to rain on Monday and while the weather is good we need to get some things accomplished...such as working on the wood floors and raking leaves out of the yard.  It was in the lower 80's here yesterday and should be about the same today... I NEED to get my a/c in my car worked on and the windows tinted (you HAVE to have your windows tinted in Texas because during the summer months the heat will fry you and the interior of your car).
Right now the temperature outside is about 66 degrees and it's beautiful even if it is still dark LOL.
I hope next year to actually plant some bulb flowers in the yard and the flower beds so when it comes time I will have tulips, hyacinth (spelling?) and others like that, there is already a pale yellow daffodil flower in the yard and in a few weeks there will be these very pretty small white flowers all over the place too.  We had a Wisteria bush in the center of the front yard but Cindy cut that down last summer because it was branching out too much and she was afraid the root system would disrupt the sprinkler system in the yard as well as grow up the huge oak tree in front and suffocate it.  I love Wisteria but it had been allowed for too many years to just grow wild ~ if Wisteria is tended correctly and kept pruned and on a trellis or arbor it is a beautiful thing!  if left unattended it encroaches over everything in it's path. Now, how much of what is planned actually takes affect LOL is another story entirely!!
Well, I hope everyone has a good weekend and I hope everyone's weather is improving and will be nice.
The Spring Equinox/Vernal Equinox OR on March 21st... I will hopefully be making a entry explaining what it is about so all you "non-pagans" out there know what and where the Easter Egg originated from well as other things that show where Ostara predates Christianity and how Christianity tied Ostara into it's system.  That should be interesting (or at least I think so).  I'm looking forward to it and hunting for graphics and other information for it also... I didn't get to do one for the Winter Solstice or Lammas because I was either in Oregon or had just gotten back from Oregon.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

This wonderful tag was made for me by Donna over at D's Designs ~ thank you Donna!
Just a quick entry to let everyone know everything is ok.  Been busy this week with work and around the house, trying to get around to everyone's journals and leave comments, haven't made it to all of them though lol.
I have double shifts today and tomorrow and then my usual lunch shift on Saturday ~ of course last Saturday by the time I got out I might as well have worked a double LOL, it was a busy day and by the time I got home my feet were killing me and I didn't at that point care if I saw another human being for awhile the exception being Cindy of course ~ I would have been happy.
Cindy has been pretty busy at her job also ~ one of her co worker's daughter (she's 16) has within the last month been diagnosed with Hodgkin's (spelling?) lymphoma (I hope I spelled that right) and the place where she worked the owner and about 50 other of the male employees had their heads shaved in support of this man's daughter, she's had to shave hers because of the chemotherapy... wasn't that great?  I think so...the owner also had those rubber bracelets made in support of her in her favorite color a deep purple. So even though you don't know her shout out a prayer/blessing or whatever it is you do in your belief (or non belief) 'k?  She's a brave young woman and has a excellent attitude about fighting this crap.
Alright, I'm out of here, need to get some things done before work.  I hope you all have a great week!  by the way, the weather the last couple days has been very nice here, will be (the weatherman says) 79 or 80 degrees!  of course we are expecting more rain lol.  The boys have been loving being able to be in the run for a couple hours at a time ~ Hugz*
P.S.  Can everyone comment and let me know if all my animations on my page are working? (wondering because I've been reading and been told that AOL is having issues with GIF files)  Thanks !

Friday, March 7, 2008


Ok, Ms. Teresa is NOT in a good mood this morning, nor was she yesterday either for that matter.
Most of the reason is PMS, it's driving me nuts ~ I'm irritable about most everything and anything. I have cramps, I'm feeling bitchy, whiney, totally out of patience. So, if you don't wish to read about this then the little red "X" up in the upper right hand corner is for you. (smiling as I write that).
Okay, yesterday at lunch shift (work) 3 of the other server's didn't show up for their shifts so the one's of us that were responsible and there like we were supposed to be had to take up their slack this made lunch rush very interesting and freaking stressful.  I get this one 8 top ~ with the prima donna of princesses (blonde bimbo that is spoiled rotten and utterly snobbish sort with her darling "daddy" in tow & her "admiring" court of admirers) wonder if Paris Hilton is like this??? I don't know if the best pay check in the world could cover having to deal with spoilt rotten bytches!  Other than making sure you are in their will substantially and hiring a hit squad with the paycheck ROFL!! Oh jeez, I'm in a mood aren't I?  Anyway ~ on with the princess story, she starts placing these orders around very sneeringly and nasty.  I go to the table to take the order and she's trying to tell me how to do this and do that, me? I ignore her ass and go to everyone else on the table and take their orders and leave her to last...she wasn't happy lol.  I looked at her with a look in my eyes (my boss says) that said " I'm not impressed with you nor your antics, you aren't going to push me around & I will NOT deal with your attitude so go ahead, make my day and then I smile (if you call baring of one's teeth to someone a smile) ~ anyway, it's not like we weren't swamped, ran over, buried up to our eyeteeth with other "guests" (which by the way of course, happens on the day 3 others don't show up for their shifts) we were asking everyone to please bide with us that we were short server's and woulddo the best we could.  Most everyone was ok with that.  My boss was still chuckling about how I handled the blonde bytch lol.  Been doing this kind of work for far too long to let her get to me. (sigh) then of course last night's shift was waaaaaaaaaay slow.
It's been raining all afternoon yesterday and last night, still is this morning except it's turning to ice and snow now.  I'm talking to Cindy on the phone now (she's on her way to work and she said it's snowing).
All right, I guess that's enough "grumping" for now.  I hope everyone has a good day.
(No, not all the time, just some of the times <grin>)

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


I can already tell this is not going to be a good day for me ~ been up off and on all night because of the "babies" with all the rain yesterday they weren't able to go out and play, release some of that border collie energy they are so well known for sooooooo every time that Lares whined I got up to let them go out, didn't want to wake up Cindy.  Hopefully today after I get home from work I will be able to let them out all afternoon or at least for awhile. Once I got up this morning for the last time around 5 I let them in their run for around 45 minutes and let me tell you can we say dirty paws??? they had 'em. yuck.
It got pretty chilly here last night once that front went through with all the rain... I love the rain! a lot of people don't tho. Anyway, back to the chilly weather, they were saying we might have gotten snow last night but we didn't... I guess the front with the snow didn't quite get down far enough to accommodate it lol.
Well, I guess I will go for now.  Just wanted to write something...anything.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Blah Blah Blah LOL


Good Morning again everyone
I hope this entry finds everyone fine and dandy lol.
Me?  I'm sitting quietly here writing & listening to the rain, a big storm just finished blowing through and I loved it, the "babies" didn't though, they got kind of upset.
The past week was as I said it was going to be, exhausting.  I'm still tired and will probably take a nap after I write this entry then when I get up I will do all my Monday chores; laundry, sweeping, etc. etc.
Anyway, I got home finally from work on Saturday and we had made plans to go to dinner with our friends Barbara and Michelle at Red Lobster so when I got home I took a shower and got ready... Cindy did such a sweet thing for me, she know's I've been wanting Led Zepplin's CD "Mothership" and she had gone to the store and gotten it for me..wasn't that sweet?  I thought so .
So, we went to dinner and I was fine at first, we ate and were sitting there talking and my  blood pressure shot up like you would not believe!  My pulse was at 120 and going faster and faster. Why it did this I have no idea.  But that, combined with just being extremely tired from work did me in.  I didn't even feel like I could walk to the truck I was feeling so weak (the pulse was escalating even more just doing this) and wiped out.  Cindy stopped by Barnes & Noble (major bookstore in the U.S. for the readers outside of the U.S.) a place I would normally go and spend quite a bit of time (Cindy bought the book I mentioned in the previous entry) but I stayed in the truck because I knew I wouldn't make it; my legs were shaking, actually I was shaking all over! It was scary but I had felt like that before so it wasn't that strange to me ~ it was almost like one of my panic attacks that I get.  Maybe it was one, who knows sheesh.  Cindy was only in there a few minutes because she knew that I wasn't feeling well, came home and I went straight in to put on my pajamas and I went to bed, I think I was out within a couple minutes .  Yesterday was spend very quietly here at the house reading, watching TV, napping etc.  I fixed Fried Catfish Nuggets, Hush Puppies, Baked Potatoes and Green Beans for dinner ~ fattening and terrible on your arteries but it was really good!  lol.  Then about 7:30ish or 8 Barbara and Michelle came over (our regular Sunday night thing) to watch the "L Word" together...thankfully the show will be over the end of this month~ lol.  Cindy will be disappointed but I won't be. ::peeking at Cindy::.
Good news is I don't have to work Wednesday nights anymore ::keeping my fingers crossed:: and hopefully I will have only one or two doubles a week now.  I think my boss is finally realizing how much it wipes me out.  He tends to forget that I'm the oldest there and I've been doing this a very long time and my body/mind can't handle it like it used to.  That aspect (if I let it) can be quite depressing because it's me having to acknowledge age is creeping up on my a**. LOL.
Alight, I'm going to go for now... I hope to get a entry or two in this week sometime.
P.S.  If you get a chance hop over to Margo's journal "MagogoS's Musings" she just had surgery and could use everyone's well wishes, she is a very sweet woman.

A absolute "must" reading material, esp. if you are a parent or want to be one...

I'm writing this entry to recommend a terrific book ~ It's a book called "Schuyler's ::pronounced SKYLER":: Monster"
This is a book written by the father of a little girl that was born with a genetic disease/disorder called "Polymicrogyria" (other links ~ Poly II )it is a disease that affects children but not all, with some degree of global developmental disabilities or delays, seizures, feeding difficulties, respiratory problems, motor dysfunction and mental retardation. It is difficult to make a predictable prognosis for children with the diagnosis of PMG because each child is very unique in their presentation of this disorder. In Schuyler's case it affects her speech predominately & some of her motor skills (hand coordination in her case) from what I understand in reading the book. 
Cindy and I read this book in one day!  Cindy wanted to read this book because her nephew has "Head Trauma" that happened directly after his birth... because of Cindy's and her Mother's (who both have custody of her nephew) experiences with society in general and the school system as it pertains to how they handle head trauma's (head trauma happens either during the birth itself or after birth) vs. genetic disorders (genetic is a predisposition or "to be born with" a disease a few examples are Cystic Fibrosis, Down Syndrome, Sickle Cell Anemia, Hemophilia).  Again, in Schuyler's case the Polymicrogyria is a "genetic" disorder not a head trauma.
Schuyler's Dad wrote this book and writes it very openly and honestly ~ I love the way he writes and the fact he is so honest with what his and his wife's feelings are etc. He also has a blog about his experiences, thoughts etc. here "Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords" .  If you get a chance, purchase the book, read his blog.  You won't regret it.
A picture of Schuyler and her Father.