Monday, November 3, 2008

Letting everyone know just in case!

I've retired this journal ~ I wanted to start a new "me" so when I transferred to Blogger I created a new journal called "Shadows of the Moon" ~ thought I'd create a new beginning. Not that much has changed. Blessings* Teresa

Friday, October 3, 2008

It's me...

Good Morning everyone !

Now that I've got Blogspot and My Space figured out and at least started I wanted to beg all you to give me time to get around to everyone's new Blogs..'k?  And please if you visit either my Blogspot or My Space Blogs, pls. leave me a note you've been there & if you aren't on either of these yourself, leave your new Blog's addy?  I really want to get to everyone's new "set up's" and tho it may take me a little time, I WILL get to them.



Thursday, October 2, 2008

More news...

Okay everyone, I now have a Blogspot addy ~ here it is... hope to see you all there (as well as My Space cuz I can do neat things with graphics LOL).  (((Hugz everyone))).



let me know if the link works 'k?



Oooops just found out you need the email addy for My Space to apply... my email addy for My Space is ~

it will ask for this so don't forget :)

AOL Sucks Pt. 2 LOL

Hello all ~ well I guess I will be going to Blogspot unless I change my mind... will be setting up an account later today... I have already established a My Space acct/page if you'd like to visit and become a part of my "friends" group... just send a request for the OK and I'll ok it, don't have any entries yet, just the page... will be doing that later this week also... here's the link ~ I hope to see whoever has a My Space page there!


Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Freaking AOL ~ (I know I have to be Positive blast it)


I have a question, if you are a paying customer of AOL's ~ WHAT these days are you exactly paying for???  Damned if I know  ~  I have a question (or 2 or 3 or 4) for any of you out there that read this thing... 

1.)  Where do I put my graphics now?  Who do I store them with where it is pretty easy to figure out how to work the blasted thing?

2.)  What is a good place to start a new journal where I can use my graphics freely and easily?

I am aware of Blogspot etc.  any other ideas?  or are the majority of you going to Blogspot?  I want where I go to be able to reflect "me" ~ I think you are aware of how very much I love my graphics ~ to some of you, you could care less LOL.  To me, graphics are art...

Well, needless to say I will be checking into everyone's journals (BUT just in case if you leave a comment?  please leave your new journal addy for me?  IF you have one already?)  to see what's going on... I don't want to lose anyone...this is really sad and kind of scary... I realize some of you are saying "everything in life changes etc. etc. I for one am not one for change... it overwhelms me (as any of you who have read me the panic issues are bad with this kind of thing).  I'm sure a lot of you out there are overwhelmed.... (that sounds like I have hundreds of readers when I know I don't) let me know how you are dealing with this?  Please?  it would mean a lot to me. 



Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'm thinking again and I don't know if that's a good thing


Diversity ~
Compassion ~
Tolerance ~
the end of Ignorance
the end of prejudice
the ending of battling one another
the coming together for one purpose
supporting one another for a goal
Open Minds
Open Hearts
these are the things I want for this world, for this country, I am sad to say that what is going on in this country today shames me, it wounds my heart and soul.
Politics? I am coming to hate it resoundingly.
The bickering, the one upmanship, the lies, the false platitudes...the scheming for power for oneself instead of for this country as a whole.
Democrat? Republican? what are those? in this day in age it is a extremely divisive issue. When it comes down to it in my mind, is nothing but a longing for power, the struggle for it for both parties.
The Religious Party's interests are for the same, their own message, their own needs to force their beliefs & ways of life onto others, no matter that there are differences ~ face it, we don't believe the same, we don't worship the same, we don't understand the same.  To me? and I am extremely for this - the original intent of the forefathers of this country "separation of church and state" there was a reason this was written, created.
Propaganda is foolhardy, truth is what is needed.  Not hearing words that the politicians THINK we want to hear.
I know in the past I have made no effort to conceal, hide or otherwise my opinion of the President at this time, that feeling is still the same, hasn't changed. What has changed is the fact is I am almost tired to death, to the point of not caring anymore.  I can't do that to myself though because that would make all the sacrifices that have been made for the military in vain and I will NOT do that to them.
I believe that I DO have hope, I believe that I do have my rights (though by any day those could change) I have MY voice, which I will use to at least say what I feel.
I want people to get along with each other, to love each other no matter what their differences are ~ whether it is the matter of the color of one's skin, their religious/spiritual doctrine, who they are sexually, whether a woman wishes to have the control and RIGHT to say yay or neigh to their rights of abortion, the control of their OWN bodies, not something that is taken away because of religious ideology. 
My simple solution to that is ~ if you are against abortion? don't have one ~ if you are against birth control?  don't use it. period.
Hell, I don't know what to say anymore, or think ~ all I know is what is in my heart of hearts and that is the hope that this country will pull itself together as a WHOLE and put all the cultural, religious, political differences aside and realize that no matter what that we are as a country ONE people.  And no one has the right to take the rights away from another individual or group of people because of your personal preferences.
Sorry if this makes no sense, but it was something that was hurting my heart and I needed to talk about it. Disjointed as it may seem.
THINK before you speak, THINK about your actions~ teach your children love and acceptance ~ "out of the mouth of babes" ~ don't teach them hateful things, don't teach them to HATE because they don't know how unless parents show & teach them this... teach them to love themselves and each other, no matter the differences between them.  No matter what, we are all one.


Monday, September 22, 2008

Just a quick note for everyone, I meant to do a Mabon/Autumn Equinox entry today but I've had a massive migraine most of the day and wasn't able to do it.  Merely looking at the computer screen just sent knives through my brain and made me sick to my stomach. I will try to do it tomorrow before or after work.

Saturday, September 20, 2008




Bright the day to everyone, I hope this day dawns for you with hope and faith in the graphic states, with peace within.
First of all on the chapters in this entry...
Ike !
We survived him though many, many did not. He left some kind of lasting effect on most everyone in his path ~ whether it was a fallen tree, flooding or a loss of a home ~ electricity etc. etc.
Galveston and the surrounding counties on the coast are still very disrupted by his temper (Ike's).  Nature is like that, when we as humans least expect it, Mother Nature shows we as humans have absolutely no control over Her.  There are many evacuee's still in this area, especially from the Houston/Beaumont area.  These people don't have homes to go back to, or they don't have water or electricity or it's still flooded.  The animals are still suffering also, the furred one's that weren't able to be taken (cattle, horses, goats, sheep etc.) even if they have survived the storm itself they are having difficulty finding fresh water & food; no fresh water, hence they are drinking the salt/brackish water and it is killing them.  Or the one's that are not able to find a dry area to forage in or stand in are getting hoof rot. Many, many things are here in the aftermath of Ike.
In this area (Ike and his "eye") passed right over us, left many  without electricity till yesterday and even today there are one's that still don't have fresh running water or electricity, sadly these are in the more remote rural areas where the electric companies haven't been able to get to yet.
Keep these poor soul's in your prayers/blessings/thoughts or whatever you choose to have your Spirit associated with.  I am.
Second Chapter ~
Work, it's driving me mad ~ yesterday I almost walked out.  I didn't.  I remained the somewhat responsible, mature individual and stayed the course.  What I am going to do though is discover and remember what all else I can do and find another job pertaining to it.  I can't deal with the garbage that's going on there anymore ~ 98% of the original people there have left.  It's going down the hill fast and it's not the economy (though yes, it has had it's effect on us) the main reason is poor management and the greed of the corporation itself.  Sadly poor Cindy has been having to bear the brunt of my grumpiness and wracked nerves when I get home.  We had a discussion last night and we are ok.
Heathen is doing fine, as he can anyway.  His spirits are wonderful most of the time, he has his spells where he's not feeling well, but he has, so far...snapped out of them.  He's been playing with me, with Kissy (his furry "Sis" and tormentor).  I hope he maintains as he is and even gets better even though I know he will never recover the use of his back legs.  His heart is huge though and his will to "be" is even more so.
Third Chapter
The weather!!!!  Fall is coming!!! you can see me dance a jig in your mind if you want.  The weather has been in the upper 50's to middle 60's in the evening and the cool weather lasts till around elevenish then it starts warming, it's only gotten to the low to mid 80's which I am so very thankful for. 
Don't forget September 23rd (for some the 22nd) is the Autumn Equinox...the official beginning of Autumn.  Like I mentioned in a earlier entry I hope to be able to write a entry (from the viewpoint of my spirituality) close to that date.
Lares and Draco are doing wonderfully and thoroughly enjoying this beautiful weather.
I guess I will be going for now, I'm sure that I'vemissed things I wanted to write but at the moment my focus is dissipating.
I haven't gotten around to many of the journals lately, for that I apologize, it's been nuts, I have been too upset or something has/is in the way.

Friday, September 12, 2008

the beginning of the flooding

This is called "The Strand" in Galveston, the hurricane is still over 250 miles's already flooding.

More Ike

Another note !
(yes, I'm freaking)
Hurricane Ike is 700 miles wide !!!! The Eye of the storm is 350 miles in, then the eye, then another 350 miles of this storm.
I cannot stress how dangerous this thing's going to be hitting the oil refinery's there, it's going to cause so much damage it's terrifying. This means the prices of gas are going to be affected quite a bit.  All I can say is unless the people that didn't evacuate Galveston have a angel's hand on their shoulders they are going to either die or lose everything.
They have closed the port of this affects us? it is the 2nd largest port in the country i.e. food supplies etc. come in on this port, the 1st largest port is New Orleans. With this storm?  The boats won't even be able to get into the Port of New Orleans because of the sheer size of the storm.  It doesn't all come via has to be brought in from somewhere and because so many of our products and food etc. come from other places the easiest way is via the sea.
The idiots that run the gas stations are price gauging! They should be arrested. 
Ok, I'm going now.

update on Mr. Ike



Ok, Mr. Ike is looking wicked...very in ~ "something wicked this way comes" ~ it's not going to hit eastern TX. BUT it is going to slam into Galveston/Houston area smack on and probably at a Category 3...then it will sweep up and around and right over us.  At the moment we are under a Tropical Storm Warning - winds are expected 70 mph or thereabouts with 10 inches of rain or so expected, gosh knows whatever else.
My best friend Terry & her Partner Dar won't evacuate, Terry has M/S... Dar is one of the head honchos with a huge hi tech corp here and they won't let them get further than 3 hours away... plus I think they are clueless as far as the true damage a hurricane like Ike can do ~ when they say there is "imminent death possible" if you stay... that's no joke.  In 1983 Hurricane Alicia hit Galveston, killed over 1500 1900 one hit, killed over 6000.  Galveston is going to be under water. period.  Small or large amount of water it's going to be under and anyone staying has a very high chance of not surviving.
Here is Ike as of this moment...
Note:  there are over 5 million people in the Houston/Galveston area... Galveston is only 56 miles from where my friends live.  Because it's not in a "flood zone" (the area they are) they are only allowing the people from Galveston etc. to evacuate till this afternoon, then they will allow the people from Houston leave if they want...the govt. is telling these people to "hunker down" and ride out the storm.  If there are death's because of this "hunkering down" I hope the govt. get's their asses sued off.  People are bringing their livestock and pets into this area so the local ranches and bigger areas that can handle it are allowing them to put the cattle/horses etc. on their land.  Remember, this is Texas...there are LOTS of horses and cattle.  Not to mention the pets.  I worry so much about these people and their "children"  (yes horses and cows and donkeys are "children")  not to mention some are extremely valuable monetarily wise.
All Ike needs is 11 more miles per hour to become a category 3 hurricane.
I'm worried about us too!  we have a huge amount of trees around us and with these winds we are just hoping that one doesn't blow down on the house, or that we lose electricity...Lares/Draco & Kissy are already feeling the "energy' in the air.  There will most definitely be flooding and I have to work Saturday!! ughhhh.
Okay, I'm going for now...pray for the people in the path of Ike...and that there aren't any deaths.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


Just to let you know I am worried to death about Ike... he's apparently set at the moment to come in around the Houston/Galveston area give or take...then it will sweep right up and over us.  They are saying that by the time it hits the coast it could be a upper category 3 to lower 4 hurricane.  From what I understand they are ordering mandatory evacuations from the Houston area and Galveston especially.  (all the gulf coast actually).  I called my best friend Terry in Houston this morning and I warned her about what was going on, she's on the way out the door to buy plywood to board up their house.  I told her if they weren't planning on leaving they needed to get a generator also.  We will see.  I will write later about what's going on.

To the Victims and Survivors of 9/11/01 ~ The Universe's Love is wrapped around in spirit or flesh. Even though I don't know you...or didn't know you, you are in my thoughts.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Peace, is it too much to ask for?


Is it too much to ask for?
Something I ask myself at least once every day of my life.
What about you?





by John Lennon

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Never, ever forget...

I, for one and many, many others have not forgotten this day...
I can still see in my head these events happening and I still feel the disbelief and utter sorrow and shock, I still cry like it was September 11, 2001.
I don't think I will ever stop crying about it.
Never, ever forget.

Sunday, August 31, 2008



Well, it looks like Hurricane Gustav is going to rack havoc on New Orleans again!  It's currently a category 3 Hurricane, it is supposed to be a 5 before it hits the coast (could hit anywhere from Mississippi to Galveston/Houston area) and we just found out that there are 250 buses in route from New Orleans full of evacuee's, there will be even more I'm sure before this is through. As of right now there is a mandatory evacuation order in affect for the coast of Louisiana, I really hope those new Levee's can handle whatever is coming.  The roads out of Louisiana are now in a "Contra Flow" which means the roads all are for outgoing traffic, there is no incoming, the airport is closing...trains etc. have been brought in to evacuate people too.  N.O. is under a MANDATORY evacuation, that means they are going door to door throughout the city to make sure people are gone or going.  One big plus about people's pets?  There is much more control over what will happen to them...the owners that have to leave their loved furry ones with the shelters (not shelters in N.O.  they are being sent out of the danger area they  are BOTH (the pets and their humans) given colored tag's and bracelets to connect them with each other... so hopefully there will be far, far less abandonment of animals. (Ask Indigo about this, She will tell you the story about Pickles, her help dog and the trauma her baby went and still goes through)  I remember when Katrina was awful, I helped in the stadiums with the evacuee's, food, clothing, water, personal care items etc.  Texas took in 100's of 1000's of evacuee's, I believe the state is slated to accept 40,000 + with this storm.  I feel so very badly for these people and their furry children, say some fervent prayers ok?
I'd like to make a point that I don't know how many of you thought about when Katrina devastated New Orleans... maybe some of you wondered why so many people stayed instead of evacuating? Consider this...the majority of the lower 9th ward in N.O. are at or below poverty level, elderly - they had no car's, no way of transportation...they had no credit cards for hotels, or gas if they did have a car, no extra food etc.  In other words, the one's with money got out, the poor were deserted and forgotten.  (the middle and more well to do and WELL to do people live in the "high ground" part of N.O.  the poor live in the lowest (below sea level) With the  way things were organized in N.O. at the time (which was very DIS organized - no one really knew what to do) this time it was planned for...all those unused buses that were seen stair deep in water just sitting in parking lots? they are being used.  Trains? they are being used...planes were used as long as the airport stayed open (it closed at 6 a.m. this morning) ... Boost Cell Phone Co. is not charging anyone for using their cell phones in this area of the country because of the storm...the levee's were hopefully repaired and updated to withstand the stormsurge (waves and incoming coastal waters of 18 feet or more).  The winds (if it reaches a category 5) will be 156 miles per hour...higher wind gusts, 23 FEET of storm surge! that is a huge wall of water that will submerge N.O. again, no, not all the levee's are fixed and sadly no matter how much I hope and pray, I don't think they will withstand this if it gets as bad as they think it will be.
  Hey, Mr. Bush are you going to fly over N.O. this time and look pooh faced at the loss of lives,  property and the general destruction??? You would not know your freaking well privilaged, born with a silver spoon in your mouth, head from a hole in the ground. Grrrrrrr. I still remember his response to Katrina, just as I remember the cretin sitting in the classroom reading to children with no emotion or rather stupidity written on his face when 9/11 was going on.  Anyone that knows me knows I despise Geeeeeorge Double Yah Bush, but then I am FAR from the only one.
Was listening to the news last night and you know what some ass**** and yes that's a bad word but that is one of the only one's I can think of for the fool...he wrote in and said, just how much money will it cost the taxpayers THIS time?  I'm thinking (I thought all kinds of things as  you can imagine) what if something catastrophic happened to the area you happen to live in?  Would you NOT wish to have help from the government? or from any other venue for that matter?  What if your insurance company (if you have one) finds some little loophole that allows it to deny you any kind of reimbursement to help you rebuild or whatever?  talk about lack of compassion?
Someone on the news this morning emailed in and said "why weren't the Farmers crying when their flooding went on earlier this summer?" making N.O. sound like whiners...hey, Mr. Macho? you can watch the river rise and know to get the hell out of the way and move... what are you going to do with a 23 foot tall tower of water crashing down on you? and 100 plus mile an hour winds. I'm not putting down in any way the tragedy the Farmers went through, it hurt them too. But with a Hurricane the size of Gustav?  It's like a tornado hitting...except instead of skipping over you?  it STAYS for a little while with no relenting.
Everybody make sure and say a prayer for these people and for me? even more importantly their pets...they will need it.  It sounds like it might hit a little Southwest of N.O.  so HOPEFULLY won't hit it directly.  No matter where it hits once it reaches land it is going to do damage to whatever community it creates landfall.
You know what makes me truly sad too?  Is the fact that some of these people have just finished rebuilding...there are many that aren't finished yet/still in the process...and here, on the anniversary of Katrina and Rita... here comes Gustav.
Don't forget Tropical Storm Hannah out there in the Atlantic.
Regardless of not getting the full Hurricane here, we will be getting LOTS of rain from the sounds of it...If the Hurricane goes on the projected path that it is on now? it will come straight up over us in Texas...not the full Hurricane mind you, but some heavy winds and rain.
Okay I'm done. I'll probably write more later.  Just pray ok?  Light a Candle? Smoke on the wind....

Saturday, August 30, 2008



Bright the Day everyone,
I hope all of you are doing well and will be having a good weekend!
Cindy has 3 days off and I have 4 of them.  Monday is my birthday and Tuesday is our Anniversary.   C. bought me a Stand Mixer for my b'day/anniversary!  It's great and wasn't that sweet?? I think so. Don't know if we will be doing something, if anything ~ a quiet long weekend.
Heathen is about the same, but I'm watching him very closely still for the "sign".
I've been pondering about changing the layout of my journal, if not moving my journal entirely ~ I am not sure about why I'm feeling like this I just am. I've played around trying different colors, layouts etc. but nothing has caught my interest, I can't help it, I like black! lol ~ to me it shows the graphics I use very nicely since the majority of them are NOT pastels.  I'm antsy.
The weather here is still hot and very, very muggy ~ soon hopefully it will start cooling and not get over 90 degrees, one good thing is that it hasn't been in the 100's .
In about 3 weeks it will be the Autumn Equinox, the ending of summer and the beginning of Autumn, then the next festival will be Samhain (pronounced Sow-win) or All Hallows Eve.  Samhain is the Pagan/Wiccan "New Year" according to the pre Caesar calendar that the Romans created.  I will hopefully write a entry about each explaining them more fully; I've written before about them but they probably aren't remembering very well so I'll do it again if I can.  just takes that thing that I'm so lacking in, FOCUS .
Brandon, Cindy's nephew (C's Mom and C are raising Brandon) is handicapped ~ some of you know this already.  He was born with a brain tumor and shortly after his birth they had to operate to remove it.  The surgery caused him to have weakness on his left side, he isn't able to use his left hand and his left leg is weak.  Mentally he has a few issues also caused by the tumor and removal thereof...he gets so frustrated with not being able to use his "sweet hand" or run like other kids and other kids make fun of him and harass him and his feelings get really hurt.  Every year when B. goes back to school C and her Mom have to go through hell to get the schools to do what is right for B.  The "No child Left Behind" act is something most of the people they've had to deal with in the school system is something the schools would rather forget if they had their way.  There are many things that they have to watch out for with B.  for example he can't get too hot (causes seizures), he can't have any kind of trauma to the head (no matter how slight), he has to have a aide for everything, even going to the restroom because of his "sweet hand".  Thing is the teachers/aides have no patience and don't care to learn about B's issues.  They get impatient and ignore him.  According to the law they are supposed to have a aide for him every minute that he is at school and even on the bus to and from home.  They getpaid by the state for this ~ yet they do their best to weasel out of it.  It's a good thing that C and her Mom are so savvy as to the laws applying to his situation.  You may ask "well, why don't they home school him?"  the answer is because B. needs exposure to other children and adults, he needs to have that meshing ~ experiences outside of C, her Mom and her Mom's husband.  It teaches him how to deal with society and people in general.  I hope that he has a good year.  Wish C., her Mom & B. luck
Guess I will go for now. Have a good day.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Remembering ~ the one's who have helped me "exhale"


I am taking a page from Leigh over at "I was thinking" - Leigh is newer journal writer and is coming into her own with her writing... I greatly enjoy reading about her life,  the good and the bad...  She has a very interesting view about some things and her life's experiences and toned and tempered her.  She's a great lady  So I thought I would write a short entry about the why's and maybe the how's of the reason I started keeping a journal.  The reason being is AOL's Journal's 5 year anniversary.
I'm not sure where or when I decided to start checking out other's journals, other's lives ~ whether it was here in AOL Journals or in blogs from other areas of the web.  I only know that I did and for the most part I'm happy about it.  I've met people from all over the world here and I didn't have to leave my home.  Some of those people are good, some? not so good.  Some people are positive and nurturing, some are judgemental as hell, some think that everyone should make lemonade out of lemons about every little thing ~ THAT is something that irritates the dickens out of me.  For one reason?  The bad in life goes along with the good ~ I'm not going to psychoanalyze myself for anyone, I do it to myself often enough.  I've always been a firm believer in the fact that each and every one of us has a light, positive part of life and we each have a dark, negative & sometimes melodramatic part of life.  I embrace each side and I don't try to candy coat it.  Lest I seem like a morose individual I don't wallow in the dark side, I fight to come out into the light, sometimes though? it takes a little longer than some of those that are "happy, happy, joy, joy" would like and they don't read me that often, nor comment ~ and if they do? they email... I don't mind emails lol BUT that little dark paranoid part of me wonders if they email because they are ashamed to be connected with my journal & it would be a blemish against their fine upstanding image that is cast about.  Some things I understand are very personal and they are being empathetic about that fact, the rest? I don't know but it makes me at the same time irritated & others feeling blessed that I have made such wonderful friends.
Anywhoo ~ I started my journal a couple of times, I've had to move and change screen names & journals because there are meatheads out there in the world - and I changed before I allowed myself to think about the fact that all I had to do was block their butts ~ but then again, all THEY had to do was make a different screen name too LOLOL, plus the fact that if they didn't like my journaling or anything else then they didn't have to come back, it was their choice.  Sheesh.  Life balanced on the whim of a ignoramus. 
Any of you who know me, know that I love graphics ~ not sweet namby pamby graphics but very DIFFERENT graphics, every once in a while a sweet one will show up LOL.
I remember back at the beginning and my friend Russ from over at "Inner & Outer Demons" tput a shout out to others that read his journal to come and visit me.  I thought that was so sweet of him...he is a honey bear and I love him.  He's crusty at times, vulnerable at times but he tells it like it is with his  own life and his relationship with "Lumpy", his work and his "babies".  Plus he's a terrific artist
My friend Connie from "Thoughts on my Life & other mindless Chatter" (Private Blog) has known me for YEARS and we've been through some very rough ups and downs over those said years.  I love her too**.
Indigo from over at "Raven's Lament" is a truly, truly evocative writer, I just wish I could write like her ~ She writes about her life, her deafness, her darling Pickles...I admire her deeply and I've adopted her as my "Sistah Dear" Sisters on smoke and The richness of the Goddess.
Donna from "This & That & Hockey"  she creates awesome tag's and graphics and her own personal photography isbeautiful
Margo from over at "Margogo'S Musings: A Changing Life " She has had some very rough times this past year or so, and I worry about her ~ She is another of my "Sisters" through the Goddess... but I know she will be ok, she's being "tempered" I guess you could say and I think she would say "Ok, when is enough, enough?"  The Light is coming Margo, hang in there.
Lyn from "Brit's Blog" she's a great one too!  She's a formerly British lady who is married to a Military man, is a nurse, loves the beach, misses her Mom, has her "thankful Thursdays"...
Gaz from over at "Diary of a Podgy Poof" is a absolute bundle of teddy bear love and a fantastic sense of humor about himself and the world around him...He's from England also and I love him**
Marie, used to have a journal here on AOL, but she switched to one of the other blog's out there, She has a blog called "A Year from Oak Cottage", Marie is one of the most spiritual people I know...and she shows it in everything she does, she is full of love, mischief, compassion, NON me? She is a HUGE example of what a Christian should attempt to be...there are lots of those out there that spout the fact that they are Christian and they don't show it worth beans...Marie? She lives it, shows it and shares it and her God is very, very proud of her for it
Missie from over at "Missies Upside Down World" which is now private, is a very nice woman too!  She has had her share of sucker punches the past year and a half...but she's come through with a great attitude and a wonderful propensity to help others.
Lisa ~ "Lisa's Place of Thoughts and Ramblings" is a wonderful, beautiful, friendly, warm Lady...her journal is private also but just let me say, she has brought a smile to my heart with her kind and thoughtful ways...PLUS she loves CSI and Cold Case LOL.  AND she sends me snail mail
Amy from over at "Meh" ~ that woman is a HOOT!  She never fails to create a smile on my face, in my heart or both...she's Fabulous <grin>
I could go on and on about who is out there... that have touched my life in some way or another.  To those?  Thank you so much for welcoming me into your life.  I love you all for it.  Friendship is a precious and rare thing...


Saturday, August 23, 2008

Yoda the cat

Cindy was showing me the article about this cat ~ he (Yoda) is too precious lol, I'd love one of him! Following is his pic and a link to the article on MSNBC about him.  He  has 4 ears!!

Watch this guy LOL



Good Morning everyone ~
Thought I'd attempt another entry for this week LOL.  In a way writing these entries is therapy for me because it forces me to come out from under the "woodpile" I've been under, makes me reach out from under my comfort zone.
I can go for days, weeks without speaking nor seeing a soul.  When I was single, for the exception of work or having to go to the grocery store etc. I would be alone & most of the time that was in complete silence, no TV no radio ~ nothing.  After my last shift for the week when I had two days off in a row, I would stop at the grocery store on the way home, buy things I needed for a few days ~ go home, close the door, change into something loose and comfy, unplug the phone and not see, speak nor listen to anyone till I got to work two days later.  It was something that was very comfortable for me and I was happy with it.  I've had to do a lot of adjusting since Cindy and I moved in together...I had become very set in my ways, still am in some matters, that won't change.  I still don't talk on the phone for the exception of Cindy, when I'm here alone it's more often than not in silence.  Cindy? She can't stand silence, she says it makes her mind goes whacky on her, She thinks too much. We are very different about many things but a lot a like on some.  They even out.  She likes being around people, I don't.  I prefer the "babies" and books, cooking and searching for graphics etc. on the computer.  I can have panic attacks when I'm forced to be on the phone.  I don't understand that one either, it just is. 
Another thing about myself.  If something happens and I cut someone out of my life... I mean just that, they are cut.  I don't speak to them again, I don't see them again ~ I disappear, completely.  I've rarely had any trouble with that, it does not bother me I guess because in order for me to do that with someone that's been a part of my life it has had to have been something BIG for me to take that step.  It's self preservation (as my therapist used to tell me) I have forgotten or it's been taken from me ~ memories that I can't/won't remember, bad things and my sweet little mind protects me from those things.  Little black holes in space.  It's nothing bad for me to be as I am ~ it's just "me" and I accept it.  Doesn't matter if anyone else does, just me.  I've always as much/far back as I CAN remember been extremely solitary, I have a very hard time when I'm around more than 2 or 3 people at one time (for the exception of work for some reason it's like I become a different person at work, yet the minute I walk out that door? I'm "me" again)
I realize that the readers of my journal that have been around awhile know this about me, this is written for my "new" readers, so maybe it will give them a deeper understanding of who I am.
I can't help writing what I have written so far and think "that is soooooo egocentric of you to even think someone would be curious or interested" believe me, it takes quite a bit for me to open myself like this to one's I don't know.  It is not written out of any kind of self salutation or grandiosement - merely who I am.
As I mentioned above, I don't like being around a large herd of people, I'm extremely quiet for the most part when I am, I tend to watch people and learn about them that way... people's actions can say so much more about them as people than what they say, the truth comes out in the watching.  I like corners in a busy room, I like to sit with my back to a wall so no one can get behind me...getting behind me in my mind means danger.  I AM this way because of my past...I doubt much will change now that I'm older.  When I do talk to a person I look at them straight in the eyes & I will hold them by their eyes ~ any discomfort in most part to me means that they aren't quite who they are or their actions are speaking differently than their souls, a person's soul is what I'm interested in ~ another thing? instinct...I follow that avidly about other people.  When I was very young I learned to trust that, though at the time I didn't understand or know what "instinct" was lol ~ I just knew to listen to that "feeling" ~ kept me out of range of a fist or two in my time.
Okay, that's enough spilling of the guts at this point and time.
Have a good weekend.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

A Entry


Bright the day to everyone,
Hope all is going at least decently in your corner of the world where ever that may be.
Haven't written in a few days reason being is I haven't felt like it, burying myself under a wood pile you could say.
One good thing that has been happening is the last few days we've gotten plenty of rain!  That's a very good thing as we were pretty much in draught conditions before this happened, hopefully The Lady will keep encouraging it in this little bit of the Cosmos.  We always need it!  Another good thing is the temperatures have been steadily dropping a degree at a time, bad thing is the humidity when it's not been raining has been astronomical!  You can definitely tell hopefully that the worst of the heat is passing for the Summer.  Here comes Autumn!!  Yippee!!!  Love it in that aspect.
Cindy has been really busy at her work ~ dealing with crap like the rest of us have to at times, her's has to do with her being a woman in her profession and her Superiors at time's second guessing her or treating her like she doesn't know what she is talking about...thing is she knows more about her profession than many of the Male Chauvinists that are out there strutting about trying to establish themselves as "men" ~ oxymoron if you ask me.  Idiots.
My work has been increasing in the amount of stress that is going on there.  Employees are quitting right and left ~ seems like management would buy a "clue" and realize that there is something bad going on there and do something about it.  Even the employees that have been there for a couple years (which in this profession is a lONG time to stay in any one place for any amount of time) are leaving.  All I can do is keep trying to do my job and leaving at the end of my shifts.   Yes, the tension is affecting me and my ability to do my job as well as I normally would, yet there isn't anything really I can do about it.  It's starting to make me doubt myself and my knowledge of doing this kind of work.  Maybe it's time for me to think about finding some other kind of career?  I don't know.  What I do know is that I'm getting older and in this profession it get's hard to find a job where so many prefer younger, more attractive women to be server's.
As far as Heathen? I think, as much as I don't want to think about it and believe me I've been doing a lot of thinking about it with lots of pain and heartache.  He's losing more and more control of his back legs, yes, he's eating and drinking but what good does that do if it takes so much out of him to just GET to the water bowl and his food?  I don't know what to do but I am watching him very closely for the signs.  I will be having my Baby cremated when the time comes and he will be kept in a special urn..he will not be scattered or anything like that, he will stay on my Altar and WITH me.  Others may not understand this & may think it is morbid but it is my choice.  No one else's.  I don't expect others to understand my standing on this, just respect it.
Lares and Draco have been miserable with the rain even though we needed it so much, they haven't been able to get out and play ~ hence the fact they are driving C and I nuts LOL.  goof balls they are but so very loving.
I guess that's it for now.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

It is what it is ~ or isn't

A quick note to say that Heathen is hanging in there and I am too.
The last few days have been nerve wracking to say the least in more ways than what is obvious.  My soul hurts.
Yesterday it finally rained ~ and I mean rained!!  It started around 3:30ish P.M. and lasted till around 10 a.m. this morning, non stop beautiful rain... now we need about 3 or 4 more days of it like that to help with the draught conditions around here. 
The boys were not happy not being able to go out and play...make that BOY as in Lares... Draco is perfectly happy staying in all the time but Lares? he is manic about going outside about 8 o'clock at night and running his fool head off chasing whatever is out there on the other side of the fence LOL.  Drag his behind back inside around 9 p.m. because that's generally when C and I go to bed.  I was up off and on all night last night, couldn't get settled at all, was checking on Heathen, checking on the boys, going outside and checking the weather etc.  got up for good at 5 a.m. and stayed up.  Work was challenging today ~ drama per usual and the tension is tight.  I just do my job and come home.
Cooking hamburgers tonight, the grocery store had Angus Beef Hamburger Patties on sale for $2 for 4 of them; so I bought 3 packs LOL~ also fixing french fries.  Simple dinner, that's all I feel like.
Keep offering up your prayers and positive thoughts for Heathen ok?