Wednesday, February 28, 2007

~ exhaling like crazy ~ if I don't watch it I will hyperventilate :)

This "Tag" is the work of our wonderful Donna at D's Designs  :)

Feeling kind of down and wornout at the moment, emotionally and mentally.  Mainly because it took a lot for me to write what I did in my previous entry, believe it or not.  I share things with you all, yes... but it doesn't mean that with certain things I talk about/discuss with you, that they don't come with a price for me.  That being, in general I'm a very quiet person, I tend to hold things to myself, my heart and in my own mind far more than is really healthy.  I meant what I said about not minding whatever someone might respond with, because I am who I am. I am proud of ME.  It still doesn't mean that the "little girl" inside of me doesn't hope that people won't trash her for speaking and sharing what is on her mind & in her head or in her heart. 

I never, ever, REALLY had a childhood.  I wasn't given the chance nor the opportunity.  My mother was married for the 4th time by the time I was 6 years old and she always married the same kind of man. Lechers (sp?), abusers and some things I might not ever go into detail about here.  Let's just say - I knew things at 6 years old a 6 year old girl child should never know till she is at least in her 20's.  I have very, very few memories (happy one's) of my childhood. The rest of the spots are either very sketchy or they are consumed with those little black holes that my PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) & depression leaves.  To give you an example..have you ever taken a piece of thin cloth, cotton or silk or somesuch...and sprinkled tiny fire embers across it...those little holes that burn through the material without consuming the whole thing? Over a period of time there are lots of little tiny holes that fill up the material.  Those little spots are like my memories...I have lots of little tiny (and some not so tiny) holes everywhere in my mind.  I DO remember being at my mother's 4th wedding and me wearing this little dress with a white top & bright yellow skirt with daisies around the waist...thinking to myself and KNOWING that I would never be married to a male & that I would never bear children.  Odd isn't it?  knowing that at 6 years old with such certainty?  I hated that man with a passion, I don't now because I realize it's just a waste of energy, but then and for many, many years after my mother FINALLY divorced the bastard, I hated him with a singular, unwavering hatred.  Take my word for this, he was a very BAD man.

Now, I haven't spoken physically with my mother in over 10 years.  I haven't seen her in even longer a time.  I DO maintain a email correspondence with her & that is only for necessity...for many years she didn't know where I was, no nothing because I didn't wish for her to know, she didn't even know if I were dead or alive.  I disappeared completely, absolutely.  I don't know where she lives other than the general area and I don't want to know, I don't know her address, I don't know her phone number.  Don't want to know.  Over the years there has been some semblence of healing within myself when it comes to my mother, but not enough to wish to encourage a further relationship than what there is right now. One day maybe, now? no way in hell.  The thing is I'm trying, She is trying - it might even heal enough to allow for a physical meeting or even a phone call.  Does that make me a bad daughter? no, it doesn't because no one knows what happened to me growing up & I don't think she will ever be able to get to the point within her own mind of accepting the responsibility of what happened.  It's beyond her. She's a good woman overall, she just wasn't a good mother to me.  She didn't save me when it was her job as a mother TO save me. period.

I have a headache from hell this afternoon - I think it's the barometric pressure because it's going to rain, that's causing it.  Draco and Lares are in big trouble when Cindy get's home.  I just have to remind her...Baby, they are just puppies...they will be 12 weeks old tomorrow.

So without much further Ado.. I am departing the journal world for the day... I bid you all a fond adeiu...

Sexuality - mine ~ a response I shared in ref to her question.

A response to a question a friend wrote/asked me about my sexuality has me pondering things, not questioning MYSELF, but wondering what all of you who are not gay/lesbian think about the gay/lesbian issue (to me it's not a issue, it simply just IS) - do you ever ask yourselves or wonder about my being lesbian? why I am? etc.?

So, I thought, I would share with all of you my response to her... I am omitting her name because this is a private thing between She and I... so I am writing the response I gave her minus the name.  It could have been to anyone that asked me the ponder as you will, you will either understand my thoughts and feelings or you won't.  I don't particularly care if you agree or not, because this is MY world, not anyone else's.  Also, this is merely MY opinion, not anyone else's - it is MY experience, no one else's... there are some cases where in my life I haven't done things that I have been proud of, but then we all have at one time or another. 

No, I don't mind you asking any of these questions   not at all - I'm very happy with who I am and I'm not afraid or ashamed of it, I've just learned over the years that sometimes it is wiser to not tell people that I am because there are some truly mean, wicked, evil, hateful people out there in the world that would not hesitate to physically, mentally & emotionally attempt to harm me; some have even accomplished these things at one time or other.  Being careful does not equate to cowardice or shame.
I've always known I was different, it wasn't until I was older that I realized the term for what I am is "lesbian" - when I was in 2nd grade I had my first fully crush on another little girl, her name was Adrianna - amazing that I remember that lol.  All through school I had major crushes, some even on teachers etc.  It's funny tho because it never seemed that I developed a crush on a Physical Ed teacher, which seems to be the norm for most lesbians it seems (laughing) in fact I seemed to always desprise my P.E. teacher... some of that had to do with the fact that I wasn't athletic at all and had no desire to be so.  Cindy?  She loved her PE Teacher's... but then, she's a tomboy and what the lesbian world calls "butch".  We had two vastly different childhood's and adulthood's.  She fell in with the norm of what being "lesbian" was... I didn't, I've always been feminine and the fact is I don't LOOK like a regular lesbian... I look like a straight woman (or as society perceives as being straight - even the gay/lesbian culture)  Cindy?  she fit's the gay/lesbian look.  I've always been on the outside looking in it seems on both merits - the straight world, because I wasn't straight yet was perceived as such and the gay/lesbian one because I didn't fit in with what they thought I should look like...i.e. I wasn't a tomboy, I didn't have the "lesbian" hair style, I didn't dress like the majority does, I wear makeup etc. Even when I went into gay/lesbian bars, the lesbians there (not all, but most) thought I was bisexual or I was confused and just looking for a one night stand etc.  I wasn't truly a lesbian because I didn't fit into the mold they tried to fit me into... yet despite the peer pressure within the gay/lesbian community to turn myself into what THEY thought was what I should look like, I stayed true to myself.  I am me and that's all I can be.  I love women, any kind of woman - doesn't matter to me.  My preference as to the type of woman I am attracted to?  well, that would be predominately butch...or the tomboy style, though I have had feminine women as lovers.  I just prefer butch women.  Now, when I use the term "lovers" as in plural sense... I don't mean I've had huge amounts of lovers - in fact you could fit the amount of women I've slept with on my two hands.  I'm very monogamous...I am NOT polyamorous  (meaning having more than one sexual relationship going on at one time)(I made the mistake of this once before in my life & it was the last *of having more than one lover*).  It's just not in my make up. 
As far as your feelings yourself?  In my opinion?  Homosexuality is as normal as Heterosexuality is... after all, The Higher Power has made us all, right? and The Higher Power doesn't make mistakes.  I'm not a mistake by any means.  We ALL are created with that in our genetic makeup, but over time, it was taught BY man, by word's written BY man... that itwas wrong.  Your attraction at times through your life is normal... not wrong or sick or abhorrent.  It's only abhorrent to those that have no true idea as to what humanity is... hmmmmmm ok, I'm writing something I found that explains it very well I think... it's not by any means the only thing I've found that attempts to explain the role of homosexuality vs. merely makes a lot of sense to me.  Without all the religious posturing..,.you know?  here goes... all the world, there are more creatures than just man that make lifetime matings.  Among them, some of the noblest - Wolves, Swans, Geese, the Great Raptors, all creatures man could do worse than emulate, in many, many ways. And with all of them, ALL, there are those pairings, from time to time, within the same gender. Not often, but not unheard of either. 
There is in most of us a fear, a shame placed there by our own doubts and the thoughts of those that know NO better - I tell you to think on this - The same sex pairings occur IN NATURE, how then is it "unnatural" ? Usual ? no; and not desiring of the species (humankind or any other) or else it die out from lack of offspring, but not UNNATURAL.  The beasts of the field are as innocent as humankind will never be - who has the knowledge of good and evil and the choice between & they do NOT cast out of their ranks those that are different for there is NO shame in loving...
That's just a short version of it... yet, doesn't it make sense?  take all the religious dogma etc. out of the fact that same sex pairings are a part of nature and are normal within many cultures in this world - the Christian world does not have the only knowledge or the only right to perceive what "wrong" is... there are many civilizations/cultures in this world that are FAR older than Christianity that accept same sex pairings or those that are born different.   Love is just that, love...physical love, emotional love, mental love... when you LOVE, it is not wrong.  If the desire is there to be with someone of the same sex even if it isn't your "norm" is not wrong, if it were not normal or a part of would not be, it would be aberrant within nature as without.  There are no prejudices when it comes to love in the Creator's eyes.  They would MUCH rather have us love... and NOT hate or judge one another.
In other words, IS natural - as natural as it is to breathe...
If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask - and let me know what you think of my answers to your questions.  I want to know what YOU think about what I've said.
Wind to thy Wings -
Feel free any of you to ask questions, or to respond FREELY... I'd like to know what you all think honestly about what I've written.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Catch Up


The graphic is from a set called "Jewelled Fairy" I believe ~  from Kiwi Graphics.

It's been a week of weeks  lol. I've been feeling like I should write but haven't been able to sit and formulate the thought process necessary for this.  So, I'm trying.

Once again, Lares and Draco are growing like weeds, they are both between 15 and 20 lbs each now at 11 weeks old.  They have had their 2nd shots and yesterday went in to be groomed etc.  They were NOT happy about that and Draco treated me like I was the ultimate traitor for doing so.  They WERE happy to get home, first thing Lares did almost was roll in the leaves..sheesh. But they are so cute...they also got their special tags in the mail finally, took forever it seemed.  Lares is blue with dolphins on it and Draco's is shades of scarlett with some purple in it of a planetary scene somewhere - futuristic but very pretty :)  Cindy is Aquarius therefore a water sign and I am Virgo a earth sign - therefore Lares has a water symbol on his and Draco's is earth.  They go in for their rabies shots etc. the end of March.  Heathen and Kizmet are still the same, tho poor Kizmet is loosing weight because I have been having to find places to put her food because Heathen will find it and eat all of it, remember Heathen has diabetes that is being controlled with his diet so he has to eat his special food and isn't supposed to eat anything else but - thing is, no matter where I seem to find a place for Kizmet's food, he finds it and bullies her to steal it.  I think I've finally found a spot where Heathen can't get to it and she will be able to eat in peace and put some weight back on - she's a tiny cat to begin with and her loosing weight is not a good thing in my opinion.

I've been reading a lot this past week (books), been reading journal entries but have been having trouble being able to leave comments, don't know if it's AOL or if it's the connection here.  I had broadband, but this area is fighting over which company has what area so right at the moment all I have is dial up, so that hinders things. Can't even put YouTube's on my entries or even see them because the dial up is so slow here it won't work.  I hope the corporations have the mess straightened out eventually because I miss my broadband.

Cindy and I are doing well, she's been very tired this past week - it's the end of the month and it's always very stressful and hectic where she works at the end of the month.  If you have a question about GM or Chevy vehicles though? she's the one to ask... she knows those brands inside and out... one of the best in the nation at what she does.  Very proud of her about that.

Did I ever mention that when she was younger she was a bullrider in the rodeo? or that she's been in the army and was discharged with the whatchacallit of Sergeant? <sp?> She has some massive shoulders on her (I think they are very sexy :) and her calves?  16 & some odd inch calves... s o l i d muscle, same with her thighs (big sigh here) I love her in tight wranglers (blue jeans), a cowboy shirt and her stetson cowboy of course lol.  She's a wonderful human being & I love her deeply (but ya'll know that LOL).  Hope she feels the same about me... I think she does.  At the moment she is still in bed (I've been up since 5 a.m.) she needed a sleep in and deserves it completely, later I will make us some breakfast (bacon, eggs & toast) the usual.  I think when I go to the grocery store later I will get some ground sausage meat and make "Scotch Eggs" next week for our special breakfast.  Should be interesting.  We are both supposed to start the "Atkin's Diet" the 1st of March.  That should be even more interesting LOL - I've never gone completely without carbohydrates before, Cindy has and she said when she went on the diet she lost quite a bit of weight, I guess we will see if it works the same for me as it did her. potatoes, no bread, no milk (I love milk), very little dairy, I can use creamer in my coffee, I can have butter...just no on the majority of the rest of it from what I understand.  We will see.

Yesterday, it stormed and then for the majority of the afternoon & evening there was some terrific wind gust's here...up to 50 and 60 mph winds... there is this desk on the carport that we need to bring in the house but we need some help in doing so because it's so blew right over... just to give you an idea, took 3 people to move the thing to where it is now and here comes one huge gust of wind and whoooop there it went, right over on it's back.

Alright, I guess that's it for now.  I hope everyone is having a great weekend.


Sunday, February 18, 2007

Hey, Hey, Hey - it's been quiet this weekend and nicely so :)  C and I have been thoroughly lazy till this afternoon all weekend.  Yesterday all we did was hang around the house, watch TV, play with Lares, Draco, Heathen and Kizmet - heck, we were even in bed by 8 p.m.  both of us were just tired, C more so than I, we cuddled right up and went to sleep, I love cuddling with her :)

Today, C was up early (4:30 a.m. or so) because her back was bothering her and had the puppies up and out already, I got up around 6:30 a.m. after she came in and kissed my on my cheek saying she was going to Mickey D's to get some breakfast for us, wasn't that sweet? When she got back, we read the paper and ate.  Then we went to the grocery store to get a few things, got back, I put up the groceries, she vacumned, I did laundry, she put up my new under the counter electric canopener then she went out brought the puppies in and sprayed down the back yard and the dog run for fleas/ticks/bugs in general.  You have to remember, we live in a rural area and the woods come right up to our back fence, so there are fleas/ticks now and there will be even more come the spring/summer.  We are trying to get a handle and ahead of them right now.  Texas is notorious for those things yuck yuck yuck.  Won't be able to take the puppies out to the back yard the rest of today and maybe all day tomorrow, depends on how fast the yard dries out in the back.  There are houses on each side of us - and cow's on each side of those houses, horses etc. there is ranches all up and down this road, even across the street...   it's nice and quiet for the exception on the road in front of the house.

Anyhoo - I'll be cooking dinner in a while, nothing fancy, just some sautee'd chicken breast tenders, veggie and potato or something.  Going to go for now...hope everyone is having a good one.


Saturday, February 17, 2007

Can we say mmmmmmmmm

I love things of faery, fantasy etc.  This tag is created by TerryAnn at " a girlnexdoor creation "  I've used her tags before and they are great :)  Thanks TerryAnn :)

Anyhoo - about last night, we got over to where we needed to go in order to go to Krystal's and you know what?  they were CLOSED, FOR SALE, KAPUTE, IXNAE, GONE, NOT THERE ANYMORE  :(  and our taste buds were all set for Krystal's...(sigh) such a sad fate for this place.  Nevertheless, we still went to dinner, went to this little seafood restaurant that we have been to once before, they have a dinner for two with a pound of snow crab legs, half a pound of shrimp (anyway you want it cooked pretty much, we choose scampi) 4 sides, and a dessert to split for $32.99.  It was great and were WE stuffed... then we came home.  It was a very nice evening and we were both exhausted by the time we got home so all we did was take Lares and Draco out for potty call, came back in and spent about 30 minutes with them, put them in their crate and in the bathroom.  Then we went to bed and I think Cindy was asleep within 5 minutes of her head hitting the pillow  LOL.  I was not long after her I'm sure because I don't remember much beyond that.

This morning at 8:30 a.m. is Lares and Draco's 2nd vet's appointment, they are going to get their second worming, shots and pick up their next dose of advantix for fleas and ticks (this is a MUST because I cannot and will not abide bugs of any kind in the house) I hate 'em with a passion - I can pick a snake up or something like that with ease, but BUGS?? no freaking way (sorry Russ I know you like bugs LOL).  Next Saturday, Lares and Draco have a appointment for some spa treatment <grin>  they are both going to be groomed, bathed, massaged etc. AND they get a little bandana neckerchief (or however you spell that) they are growing so quickly and for the most part as sweeties...with spaced out mischievious puppy tendencies :)  Cindy is going to try to get them to stay still enough to take some black and white photo's of them today - she's a great photographer btw.  The good thing about black and white photo's of people?  the black and white can hide flaws like you would not believe...<g>.

Anyhow, I'm not sure how we will be spending the rest of the weekend, might write again, might not.. depends.  I hope all of you are doing well and are happy....Cin, I hope Patches is better and yes, I lit the candle, so know that I am thinking and praying for you and yours.


Friday, February 16, 2007


Well, it's yet another weekend - supposed to warm up over it, woke up to 16/17 degrees this morning, ya'd think if it were going to be that cold we could at least have a "little" snow  : x  no such luck...(sigh)  It has warmed up nicely over the day though, the sun is shining and Lares and Draco are out in the dog run basking in the sunshine, the robins are out along with the cardinals and jays...and some other lovely little birds I've never seen before, neato huh?

Tonight Cindy is taking me to Krystal's for burgers.. I really like Krystal burgers, they are like White Castle's...  it's a drive for us, but I love going on long country drives with Cindy... it's very relaxing and we get some "us" time.. no puppies or cats yammering for attention. 

I'm not sure what we will do this weekend, but it will be nice just being able to spend some more time together.  Oh, yeah...Puppies second vet visit tomorrow they will be SO thrilled  LOL.

Okay, gone for now...will try to write an entry over the weekend, have a good one!!

Two more Cuban recipes, then that's it on the Cuban recipes for awhile LOL

Cuban Eggs

8   hard boiled eggs

1   cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese - divided

3   tablespoons nonfat milk

1/2 teaspoon salt (optional)

1    dash pepper (you can add more, adjust this to your taste)

1/2 cup chopped onions

1/2 cup chopped sweet green bell peppers (or red or yellow LOL)

1    tablespoon butter

2    8 ounce cans of tomato sauce

hot cooked rice

parsley sprigs

Preheat oven 350*

Cut eggs in half lengthwise,  remove yolks and set white's aside.

In a small bow., mash yolks with fork;  Stir in 1/2 cup of cheese, milk, salt & pepper until well blended.

Fill each half egg with one heaping tablespoon yolk mixture & place in a 8x8x2 inch baking dish.

In a medium saucepan over medium heat, cook onion & pepper in butter until crisp-tender, about 3 minutes or so; stir in tomato sauce and bring to boiling point; pour over eggs; sprinkle with remaining cheese & bake until hot and bubbly & cheese is melted, about 15 minutes - serve over rice and garnish with parsley if you want.


Cuban Picadillo

2    pounds ground beef

1    28 ounce diced tomatoes, drained, reserve juice

1/2 can of beef broth

1    large onion, chopped.

1    tablespoon olive oil

2    cloves garlic, crushed

2    tablespoons tomato paste

3   scallions (green onions), finely chopped

1   red chili pepper, seeded & finely chopped (or just use dried red pepper flakes)

2   tablespoons chopped fresh parsley leaves (no stems)

1   teaspoon dried oregano

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1    pinch sugar

      salt and fresh ground black pepper.

Heat the oil in a large saucepan, add the garlic & onion; cook over very low heat until onions are almost tender, about 10 minutes.  Turn the heat up to medium, add the ground beef and brown, stirring constantly with a fork to break up the meat.  Next, stir in the tomato paste, chile (or pepper flakes), cumin, oregano, half the chopped parsley & scallions (green onions) & sugar, mix well.  Season to taste with salt & pepper.  Bring to a boil, reduce heat & cook for about 20 minutes or so.

Add the broth and potato & continue cooking, uncovered for approx. 20 minutes or until the potato is tender & most of the liquid is gone; use the reserved juice from the drained tomatoes if you need extra liquid.  Mix in the remaining chopped parsley & scallions.  Serve with crusty bread or rice.  (you can also use warmed flour tortilla's burrito size, put the meat mixture in and wrap as you would a burrito).






Thursday, February 15, 2007

This is getting a little bit idiotic - AND follow up on V'day :)

This Tag is by none other than TerryAnn :) (waving to her) hey, she makes very pretty tags at her tag journal " agirlnexdoor creation " go look at her art work if you don't or haven't already :).  Oh, by the way ?  Stetson is Cindy and Fyre is me...isn't it sweeeeet???

Okay, is anyone else having problems posting journal entries today????  dang thing...AOL is again getting seriously on my last nerve.

Last night Cindy was sooooooooooooooo sweet :)  She brought home dinner from TGIF's (it's a restaurant for those in the U.K.) it was scrumptous; She also brought me a beautiful card, a box of Godiva Truffles and a Red Silk Heart Box with a bottle of my favorite perfume in it :)  That being "Sung" by Alfred Sung just for your info :)  Wasn't that nice? sweet? endearing? made my little heart go pitty patter  LOL.

Just so everyone knows, I don't cook everynight LOL  Cindy takes me out to dinner at least once a week, sometimes more than that!  She's always thinking of me and ways to make my life easier.  My cooking I do out of pure enjoyment, it pleases me and soothes me when I cook - not to mention I love cooking for her, she thoroughly enjoys it - never has had a girlfriend that would cook for her before.

Thank you all for your comments on my last three entries (even the one right before this bytchin' about AOL (wink wink at Margo and Gazker).  When you all write, it makes me happy and lets me know there are people out there that care.  That in itself is priceless, you know?

Cooking old fashioned Chicken with Egg Noodles tonight (it's like Chicken and Dumplings 'cept I am being lazy and using Egg Noodles instead, BIG time comfort food and great to heat up your bones).

Night all, have a good one!!                   


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr no aol journals again pfft pffft


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

A couple more recipes

Fettucini Alfredo

1/2 cup salted butter (1 stick)

2    cups finely grated parmesan cheese (use parmesan reggiano, I buy a quarter or a wheel or so) make sure that is REAL parmesan reggiano, there are lots of copiers out there but only one true reggiano and that is from italy itself;  finely grated.

1/2 cup heavy cream plus 2 tablespoons

pound of fettucini.

Begin with starting the pasta water boiling and adding the fettucini - while the pasta is cooking start the sauce - In a large saucepan, melt the butter, add the heavy cream then slowly work in 1/2 of the  parmesan cheese, stirring it gently with a large spoon on a low to medium heat (I chose the low because I don't want to take the chance of the sauce clumping or burning).

Drain the pasta once it is done to your tastes... put in a big bowl or back in the pasta pan...slowly pour the sauce over the pasta and add the remaining grated cheese over the top, stir thoroughly but GENTLY.  If you want, add some salt and fresh ground pepper to it ~ serve with a salad and a crusty bread.


Cuban Chicken

6 chicken legs or thighs (or both)
2 tablespoons kosher salt  (approx.)
1 tablespoon black pepper (approx)
1 tablespoon garlic powder  (approx)
2 tablespoons olive oil
3-4 tablespoons sofrito sauce
6 manzanilla olives

Season chicken with salt, black pepper, and garlic powder (to taste).

Meanwhile, heat a shallow pan over medium heat and add oil.

  1. Brown chicken in pan on both sides.
  2. Once chicken is browned, add in sofrito and turn chicken to coat all sides in the sauce. Reduce heat to a medium-low setting.
  3. With the side of a knife, crush olives and put into pan with chicken. Cook for about 15 minutes, turning chicken every few minutes until it is done.
  4. This is best served with white rice as you will have some of the sofrito mixture left over to put over your rice.

Recipes :)

Cuban Roast Pork

5 to 6 lb. Pork Roast (I use the Butt Pork Roast, but use what you like)

3 to 6 cloves of garlic (8 even if you really like garlic <grin> )

1 1/2 cups of orange juice

1/2 cup each of lime juice and lemon juice

1 tablespoon oregano

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon black pepper

1 tablespoon salt

1 large onion chopped

2 tablespoons hot sauce (this is optional)

Wash roast, trim fat (if you want to, I leave it on because to me it makes the roast more tender when cooked)

Peel garlic, cut into slivers, poke small holes all over the roast and insert a sliver of garlic in each hole till the garlic is gone. (If you want to peel additional garlic and use it in the marinade, feel free...only helps the taste if you like garlic especially).

In a large freezer bag, put the remaining ingredients - place the roast in the bag, roll it around in the marinade and put in the refridgerator for at least 48 hours, turning over off and on the entire time...(last time I made it, I marinated it for 3 days).

Preheat oven to 200* farenheit, place roast (the marinade solution goes in the garbage)in aluminum lined roasting pan, cover with foil and bake in oven for 8 hours (turning over once in this time) (over the 8 hours I periodically baste the roast with the drippings) after 7 hours, remove the aluminum foil from the top and take a turkey baster, remove 3/4 of the drippings, reserve them; continue to baste the roast for the next hour (I usually only do it twice more) and remove from oven. Then let rest for about 20 to 30 minutes.

Take the drippings you withdrew from the roast and use the drippings as a base for rice and black beans.

This roast can be cut into slices as the main course or "pulled" to make pork sandwiches, use a crusty bread - it's the best kind... goes great with cuban black beans & rice with a side of fried (sauteed) plantains.

Cuban Black Beans

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 medium onions, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped (with leaves)
1/2 green bell pepper, chopped
1/2    red bell pepper, chopped   or   1 small can of green chilies (if you don't care for  bell peppers)
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 plum tomatoes, diced with juice
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon oregano (dried)
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1/2    teaspoon allspice (ground)
3 smoked pork hocks or shanks
2 quarts vegetable stock or chicken stock

salt, to taste

fresh ground black pepper, to taste

1 lb dried black beans, sorted,washed,soaked overnight with
1/2 teaspoon baking soda    make sure to rinse beans thoroughly after the soaking process before you add to the stock pot

Place a 1 quart stock pot on the stove on high;  In a seperate saute' pan add the 2 tablespoons olive oil, saute' the first 4 ingredients for about 5 minutes, add the garlic and continue cooking till the onion is transluscent (6 to 8 min approx) add to the stock pot with the stock/broth (make sure and scrape all the good stuff from the bottom of the saute' pan into the pot) - then add the tomatoes and spices - the pork hock/shanks, black beans.  Boil at high for approx. 10 minutes, then reduce the heat to low and simmer for about 8 hours, stirring occassionally.  Once cooked, take the ham hocks/shanks and shred the pork from the bones with a fork and add back into the black beans, stir and it's ready to serve.

You may use sour cream, chopped hard boiled eggs, crumbled fried bacon, cilantro, wedges of cut lime etc. as toppings.  Me?  I just like the beans on top of some rice...

Okay that's enough for me now, I'll try to do a couple more tomorrow...or maybe this afternoon.

Let me know if you can read these recipes easily and if they are easy to follow ok?  Thanks :)



Mind Warp

I don't know who the artist is for this photograph, but who ever it is?  I love it.  Her eyes are beyond beautiful, her face is fae, like she doesn't belong in this world.  If the artist does happen to find their way to my journal and they don't wish to have it here, please email me and I will gladly remove it, I mean no disrespect.  Thanks.

Okay, I sound like I'm in a weird place in my head, that's probably because I am.  This is going to be one of my bytching and moaning sessions, I don't mean to bring anyone down, I don't even know really what to write; it's all emotions, feelings and this place I go to within myself - a very small place where it's safe to be, you know?  maybe you don't and haven't the ability to understand it but that's ok too.

I go thru these phases & I know it has to do completely with my body's chemistry or rather my brain's chemistry esp. (excuse me you guys who read this) esp. when it comes time for my "Moon Days" or my menstrual cycle and it seems the older I get, the more intense and psychologically draining it is.  My moods swing way out to left field and I get these awful emotional "drops" inside.  Most of you know or have read that I do suffer from depression at times - these bouts can swing from very minor to very harsh and very deep... this one is swinging towards the "very deep" not quite the worst, but not in the middle either.  I've suffered the depression from childhood so it's not a new thing to me, it's merely when I was younger I was able to deal with it easier or would that be ignore it?  it's been such a part of my life that it is part of who I am, I don't think there is a medication out there that can do anything at all for it and believe me, I've tried many of them.  My mind keeps wishing to carry on chit chat with me and I feel like sticking my fingers in my ears and saying "neener, neener, neener - I can't hear you so you might as well be quiet" and humming just to drown out the freaking noise.  That sounds so off the wall doesn't it?  it sounds like this chick is crazy, fruit of the loom, over and out nuts.  I'm not.  It just hits me this way sometimes and I can't do a thing about it except avoid it.  So - that's what I do - I avoid.  I avoid tv, I avoid people, I avoid writing, anything that makes me have to focus on it.  When my focus is bad this is generally why it's bad.  It is hard to even move beyond the front door of the house, much less room to room or even just to get out of the bed.  It freaking sucks and I hate it, but I deal.

I know at times to those that have been reading for any amount of time that I seem to explain or talk about this issue periodically throughout my writings... thing is?  I feel like I have to explain, not only to you ~ but to myself and writing it helps me put a face and a silencer on that bytch inside of my head.

Cindy is such a help when this hits me... she loves me so much.  Sometimes I wonder if my "disability" is too much for her to deal with or even why she would want to.  I love her very deeply & intensely, with all my heart and soul.  She makes me smile when no one else can but the cats' and the dogs'.  So, thank you Baby for being my sunshine :)

The puppies are growing leaps and bounds, like I mentioned a couple entries ago, they are pretty much potty trained, they know how to sit on command, they go to the door when they want to go out, they don't fuss anymore about being in the dog run outside (they only go out for a hour or so a day mainly to get rid of some of that puppy energy they have in copious amounts lol) they whine when they want to come inside.  They are learning that they can bark..they've made friends with the cats...esp. Heathen - he's a lot more laid back than Kizmet; Heathen butts heads with the puppies in affection and he tolerates alot of their licking, chewing etc. to a point, then he hisses and balls up that paw with the claws extended like "ok, that's way enough you two, easy on my freaking ears"  lol.  Lares and Draco are curled up at my feet right now with their heads on my slippers...isn't that sweet??  great foot warmers they are.

Okay, that's enough for now... the next entry (yes, it will be today) will be my recipes that I cooked last week.  I don't know how many of you like recipes? cooking/baking? all that much.... but this is Marie's journal and she has some awsome recipes in there...She's in the United Kingdom and is a beautiful, sweet, loving woman...   Marie's Muses   check her out :)




Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

I am finally writing LOL ~ I've had problems with focus the past few days, not to mention freaking AOL!!!! or rather with AOL Journals or was it just MY journal? from reading other's journals I am gathering that I was not alone.  Anyway, this entry is to wish everyone a


Very Happy Valentine's Day!!!


Smooches and Hugglez to all  :)


(will be writing another entry today so don't worry, will have the recipes etc. in it and what all else that comes to mind)

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Yup, it is ...

I don't know who the artist is for this picture, the signature is on it but I can't read it, I liked it so I used it for today's entry, isn't it precious??

Morning everyone :)  I'm feeling quite good today ~ so far  LOL.  Hoping it stays that way, have bunches to do and I am procrastinating BIG time :) 

Today we are having a plumber come in to give us a damn it what is that called??? a price to have our water heater (which is propane fueled) changed to electric & to have him give us a price also on the faucets in the tub (one is leaking like crazy and driving us both nuts, not to mention the wasted hot water) the replacement of them, the piping in the house is all copper piping and Cindy (can't hmmmmm what was that term she used?)  "sweat" copper?  if it were PVC or somesuch she could do it, but because it's copper it's another story all together.  Copper is good mind you, not bad, she's just not able to do it herself. And let me tell you my butchie poo can do most anything :)

We also had a "debate" this morning about motorcycle helmet laws in Texas... it was interesting ~ I think anyone that rides a motorcycle should wear a helmet, she thinks that it is personal choice and people should be able to do what they want to, I understand that arguement also..soooooo it's at a "let's agree to somewhat disagree" stage, and that's not a bad thing either, it's neat being able to debate with her :)

You know something?  sometimes people are just jealous protozoa's.. they are idjuts, crossbreeds etc. etc.  judgemental little pieces of flotsam that congest people's air space.  What I am talking about here is people that go on other people's journals and tear them down (or attempt to do so), speel their little condemnation, sour mean souls out to try to screw up other peoples lives through their little typing fingers. This happened to me which is one of the reason's I changed journals (I wish I hadn't and just told the a**'s to kiss my lily white you know what. : x  oops...did I say that???? (innocent look inserted here). Damn right I did.  pfffft pfffft pffft.

I'm so getting off of that subject because I will get myself in trouble big time.

Okey dokey, on with the recipes... I will be cooking Fettucini Alfredo with grilled chicken breast tonight...(Alfredo sauce made from scratch mind you heavy cream, fresh grated REAL parmesan cheese and butter) yummmmy.  Tomorrow will be the Cuban Picadillo ~ which yes, if it turns out well I will put the recipe here :) also, tomorrow I am going to prep the Cuban Roast Pork (I make a "marinade" and it has to marinade for about 24 hours) and cook that on Wednesday.  I hope it's good, again, will share that recipe if it turns out well...  these recipes are recipes that I have found over the years and tweeked to my own tastes...  it should be interesting.

Okay, I'm done for today... I don't know, heck, maybe I will write again today, who knows??  Hugz everyone,  Teresa




Sunday, February 4, 2007

Super Bowl/L Word Night

This wonderful Tag is the work of our own Chris at Cab's Creations go see her work...she's gooooood  lol.  Thank you for making this for me Chris :)

Anyhoooooo ~ Cindy is in the living room watching the Super Bowl, I watched the half time with Prince..was he not great? and he did it in that pouring rain, the man is killer on the guitar, he sings fantastically (in my humble opinion), he's quite spiritual and devoted to his religion which I think is Church of Latterday Saints (forgive me if I'm incorrect about that, I just know whichever religion he is, he's pretty devoted to it from what I have read and understood).  I missed the preshow with Stevie Nicks... I luuuuv Stevie, so does Cindy... Queen of all she surveys Stevie is :)  Did anyone else out there see her? that was such a bummer missing her.

Today we went to "Sam's Club" and to the grocery store, sat down this morning and planned out my week's dinner menu that I will be cooking.... the main courses throughout the week will be (in no definite order)  will be Rib Eye Steaks, Cuban Piccadillo, a soup made with Kale, Garbanzo Beans & Chorizo Sausage, Cuban Chicken and Cuban Roast Pork (yes, I'm doing a cuban thing this week lol); a couple nights will be leftovers or soup/salad and sandwiches.  Next week might be Irish? Moroccan? Austrian? Hungarian? who knows..whereever my fancy takes me.  I love to cook and bake :)

Last night we went out with a couple of her friends, who are also trying to be my friends... to Dallas, we went to dinner there and then out to a lesbian bar/dance club.  It was nice, I enjoyed my "date" with my Wife... we had a lot of fun...stayed there till midnight then started home.  I'm just not a party animal (nor have I ever really been one) anymore, I don't see the sense in staying out to all hours of the night and be exhausted the entire next one or two days LOL.  Face it, I'm just not into the bar scene period.  I'm the type that I'd either like to stay home or just out to dinner and a movie..ya know?  It was wonderful being able to be out someplace where Cindy and I could be ourselves and not have to hide our love for each other from others that would/do deem it wrong or something like that.  It was great :)

Okay, I guess that's it for now, I hope all of you are happy and content also... if not one, then the other.  Hugz to everyone :)

Thursday, February 1, 2007

A couple of my favorite books...

I don't know how many of you out there read fantasy... I'm speaking of J.R. Tolkien kind of fantasy?  Well, a couple years ago I found a book called "Eragon" by Christopher Paolini ~ this young man was 15 years old when he started writing "Eragon" and in my humble opinion is a great book :)  Granted, bits and pieces of it does sound Lord of the Ring'ish... but it's great and I recommend reading it for all of you that are interested in that genre' of book.


When I read the book the first time, I remember thinking this is going to become quite a popular series & maybe a movie in the future...was I right?  yes.  Definitely right and the author quite deserves it, the notice that it brings.  I have a link in my favorite sites to the left of my journal that will take you there if you'd like to check it out.  He came out with another book after that, called "Eldest" which was just AS good, I think... I believe it will be a trilogy somewhere along the line, I'm waiting for the movie to come out of DVD so I can rent it and watch it... going to the movies these days is just WAY too expensive, even the early shows & then by the time you add popcorn etc. it's astronomical.

                                                                 I was also remembering a movie that came out in 1982 called "The Dark Crystal" that was a great movie and I've never forgotten it..came in the same line as "The Lambrynth" (spelling?) with David Bowie in it.  Just fantastic stuff... I miss those movies.

Anyway, on with what is going on now... been working on getting everything switched over from the previous screen name and journal... been adding my graphics, journal links and favorite site links to the journal also... took awhile LOL  mainly because with the other journal, I had added the links over time, this time it was doing it all at once...didn't realize I had that many.  Needless to say, my brain is pooped... I will be getting around to everyone's journals tomorrow hopefully... I miss ya'll... but, tonight should be a very interesting night here (wiggling eyebrows) if ya know what I mean (wyked wink) plus a additional (wink, wink).  LOL.  I'm being's raining, sleeting and generally freezing my tush off. 

Oh, by the way...the babies (Lares and Draco) are growing like weeds, they are 8 weeks old today...they already know how to sit, how to stay, how to go to the door to go potty (yes, there are still accidents occasionally) isn't that amazing??  damn they are smart dogs... Lares eyes will stay bright blue but I think Draco's will be more of a dark gray rather than a dark blue... no matter, they are wonderful babies.  The cats?  well, Heathen is bein' a butthead at the moment, he's supposed to be eating the special food for the control of his Diabetes?  he keeps sneeking and eating Kizmet's food... I'm running out of places to hide it (Kizmet's food).  Heathen get's along great with the puppies... Kizmet is still "feeling them out".  Okay, I'm gone.  I hope everyone is doing well... I miss ya'll (did I mention that???).  Hugz, Teresa